"A game of high quality" By Mike Thomas
Clevedon, playing down the slope, had early chances but the home defence held firm.
Nailsea & Backwell took the lead with a try after a slick handling move. This was converted. Clevedon hit back with an unconverted try of their own through speedy winger Morgan Pryce.
With the game flowing from end to end, Clevedon took the lead with a good try by James Hervy. Before the break N&B regained the lead with a converted try.
The second half was much of the same with both sides creating chances, but either good defence or a dropped ball in the cold conditions prevented any more scores.
Clevedon should have won the game in the last minutes while camped on the hosts line, but wrong options were applied and defence held firm against the onslaught.
The next matches for Clevedon begin again on January 6th 2018.
With the 1st XV game called off, a fair few made their way over to Nailsea for the 3rd team's fixture against local rivals Nailsea and Backwell. I think we may have outnumbered the home support, but unfortunately not on the scoreboard. We were treated to a first-class game of rugby, which could have gone either way. Cracking tries scored by both sides on a cold and crisp afternoon. Personally, I felt that we should have won it after spending the last minutes of the game on the N&B line, but failing to convert the pressure into a winning score. Determined defence from the home side though and credit where credit is due. Well done Barzo and the boys.
Returned to Clevedon to participate in a good afternoon/evening ,which tends to be most Saturdays these days and long may it continue. Too much port imbibed by some of us old folks with Jonno Pearce to blame for starting the rot by sticking a bottle on the table occupied by Cobweb Corner. The man with the Caulie ears and glasses followed suit and cannot remember much after that. The Cheesies were involved somewhere during the proceedings, but as previously reported, the memory fades.
I don't think there are any games on over the festive period, but would like to take the opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year.
Let's hope the New Year brings a bit of better luck and a few well-deserved wins for all our teams.
Yours Aye, Jim
WWhat a breath of fresh air this local derby game was. Thirty players playing their hearts out with basic rugby and some interesting referee's decisions taken in good spirits. I don't think the players had the breath to challenge the decisions anyway.
It was also good to see great Clevedon support who were subject to a series of sarcastic remarks from the hosts supporters about a number of Clevedon first team players playing. What a ridiculous comment, they were all on the N&B balcony drinking ale!
Poor old Terry Harris went to the club to watch the 1st XV and found out the hard way that the game was off. He should've looked at the website or even read his text messages telling him that the game had been postponed due to a waterlogged pitch.
The old blazer boys were driven out by designated taxi driver Trevor and they thoroughly enjoyed their afternoon.Their evening was enjoyable to, but ended in a port-induced wobbleathon at about 9pm.
Well done you 3rds.
A quiet weekend at the Vale, however, due to the cancellation of 1st team game, an opportunity was afforded for the usual supporters to take advantage of free time to imbibe alcoholic refreshments in the bar. Some ventured further afield in search of rugby to watch, with a few blazer clad members travelling to the nearby Nailsea & Backwell game and returning to the club resembling a herd of oddly coloured zebra starved of liquid sustenance!!
The man with no hair, no teeth, ears and glasses and the tallest man in the world (aka Dave), despite warnings to the contrary, were keen to sample some of the King Smegglets slightly spicy onions. As usual the wares were not sampled with any finesse, simply stuffed in the mouth whole!! The subsequent puce face colourings told the story, no words were needed (which was fortunate as neither seemed capable of speaking coherently for some time afterwards). After recovering the one with no hair was heard accusing the King Smegglet of "Abuse of the Elderly". Outrageous!!
A pretty full turnout of cheese club members enjoyed a few samples of the blue veined festering curds, with even a couple of the female members attending. Nobody will be surprised that as the evening got into full swing, the Zebra lookalikes started listing to Port with several bottles of the ruby nectar opened and duly consumed. Not to be outdone, the Scottish cheesy member (aka English Dave) decided the high cheese table should follow their example!! Seemed a good idea at the time.
On arrival at the club of that famous seafarer Tugboat Pete, most were well past their best, he was subsequently heard to make the outrageous comment to the King Smegglet "You slurred that Smoggie". An obvious mistake by Peter who I'm sure must have some hearing impairment. As usual, the evening ended on a low note with the diminutive Irish member having to be lifted from the floor claiming "me backs gone!!" Still, no harm done, all survived to fight and play again on Sunday!!!
More festering cheesy news next week. Have a great Christmas.
We set off for North Petherton in reasonably high spirits and a ray of optimism for a result. Mr T at the wheel and cCauliears navigating. It's a miracle we arrived undamaged as Drives was continually asking if there was "anything left or right". Mike's neck and shoulder mobility is not what it was after all those years spent playing in the front row. Mr Potts did not instil any confidence with his replies either. Needless to say, the cashless one kept my mind off any impending danger with his non-stop stimulating conversation from the back seats.
We arrived good and early and our hosts treated us to a superb roast dinner with all the trimmings. My vote for the best of the season - so far. Thanks, Pethy.
On a bitterly cold afternoon we were treated to a good game of rugby with both sides playing to their strengths. Our defence was much improved today and coped well for the majority of the game. The spectators saw some fine worked tries from our boys the game ebbed and flowed for the first hour or so.
I thought were on for our second win of the season when the forwards earned a penalty try and put us in front. Alas, it was not to be as we tired in the last quarter, probably due to the amount of tackles that had been put in during the earlier stages of the game. To be honest, the final score line did not reflect the game, but fair do's to Pethy, they broke loose in the final 15 minutes.
We had a new "snapper" in attendance today with Crunch taking over duties from Weave. Kev using extreme measures while using a circular saw to flay his fingers - a lucky chap indeed. Get sorted soon Weave. Those jobs around the clubhouse need your attention!
Teignmouth at the Vale at the halfway point of the season. No pressure, but it would be a nice Christmas present though lads.
Yours Aye, Jim
Hibernation is over for the onlooker who's missive is below.
Well, after a better display I thought we were on for a win, but it was not to be.The faithful few suffered in the cold, but I must admit my wife kitted me out with nice, snugly and warm attire, so I was comfortable.
Going down in the car Cauliears asked the usual question about food. When he was in the queue for the carvery a chap spoke to old Cauli and had a long conversation with him. Afterwards, I asked 'ears who he was and he replied "I don't talk to strangers". What an amnusing chap he is.
Chairman Jim was quiet and disappointed with the result, but was adamant that Nick the coach should stick with the young blood. This was echoed by all of Cobweb Corner.
Cashless was rather quiet and for once did not talk about football, mainly because Arsenal were not playing and because he had the biggest plate full of carvery known to man.
Will be with us shortly.
More smeggy whey next week.
Saturday's 1st team game at home to Teignmouth has been postponed due to a water logged pitch.
However, the 3rd team game away against Nailsea & Backwell is still on !! Kick off 2.15 at Nailsea. Finish wrapping those presents and get over to Nailsea and support the boys.
The club will be open as usual with some of the finest selections of beers, ciders and lagers this side of the Gordano valley! Come on down and enjoy European rugby on the big screen.
Team: J.Tucker, T.Willis, T.Thie, J.Williams, D.Burns, A.Cole, A.Vailes, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, W.Taylor, J.Crew, R.Hervey.
Replacements: J.Crichton, R.Talbot . Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker
Don't be mislead by the scoreline this week, because Clevedon played really well and it does them no justice at all. They were inventive, expansive and committed, but ultimately profligate towards the end of the game.
Leading 19-17 with 15 minutes left on the clock, Clevedon were undone by a couple quick surges upfield by North Petherton, who capitalised on a tiring defence to score three decisive, converted tries, which on balance they deserved and tough to report.
Nevermind, that's the first half of the season over with and time now to begin the recovery to safety. This will happen if Clevedon can remember how to hold on to a lead and grind the game out, whichwill happen on Saturday at The Vale, providing a much needed bit of Christmas cheer for the Clevedon faithful. Come on you young 'uns! and the wise old heads like captain Matt Honour, Tommy Thie and Joe Williams.
Read the report here.
Next week, Clevedon are at home to Teignmouth for a 14:30 kick off.
Visit the Tribute South West One results here.
Team: T.Willis, J.Tucker, C.Maslen, T.Thie(c), D.Burns, A.Cole, R.Talbot, B.Largenton, J.Crew, B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, D.Rawle, W.Taylor, H.Russell.
Replacements: B.Stone, A.Vailes, R.Hervey. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker
Clevedon, 8 points adrift at the bottom of the table and 11 from safety have a mountain to climb to stave off relegation. They've done it before and they'll do it again. All it will take is one decent win and the confidence will soar and their worries will be over :>).
Coache Hill is working hard with the players to achieve their second win of the season. Come on Clevedon
Read the report here.
Next week, Clevedon are away to North Petherton for a 14:30 kick off.
Visit the Tribute South West One results here.
This will be brief. To be honest, I am finding it difficult find much positive to say about the game against Newent, but there are a couple of things. Firstly, our set piece went pretty well as usual and secondly, the latter stages of the game when Clevedon actually started to play as they strove to get a try bonus point and come away with something from the game. Not to be though.
Arguably some would say we have the best pack in this league, but we are still not getting the results. At the breakdown we were poor and Newent seemed to be able to turn over, or strip the ball at will, which led to the disparity in the score line.
On a good note, I imagine the bar had a good day and our visitors, RMA RFC certainly did. I suppose they are the Royal Marine equivalent to the No Necks or Cobweb Corner. They had nothing but praise for the club. Everyone made them welcome and a good day was had by all.
Needless to say, I could not make the usual Sunday meet with the Cheesies due to a severe 24hr hangover.
Train well this week boys and let's get that second win at North Petherton that could kickstart a climb up the league. There, how is that for positivity?
Good to welcome Jon Meek (RMA RFC) back to Clevedon RFC. Jon's mother is still a Clevedon resident. Served with Jon many moons ago and it was good to see Jon remonstrating with Mr T. about some unjust dapping that occurred when Mike taught him. Don't leave it so long next time Jon.
Yours Aye, Jim
Out of town "Cheesies" aka the Royal Marines Association graced the club with their presence last weekend, although they seemed to be more interested in the port offering than any of the smeggie stuff!! Several bottles were consumed, with our globe-trotting Chairman being heavily involved it would appear.
On the cheese front, Cheese Club members gathered on Saturday, to sample a variety of cultures, ranging from smoked cheeses with ham to those good old stalwarts, English Stilton and our continental friend, Danish Blue (sounds like an old 70's porn movie!!). These were accompanied by a particularly pleasant and popular selection of olives and sun dried tomatoes.
But undoubtedly the star of the show was the return of the Carolina Reaper pickled onions. The Reapers return had even the fearless former Marines blubbering like babies and swilling cooling pints with port chasers.
More smeg next week.
He's gone into hibernation and will wake again in the spring.
Team: T.Willis, J.Tucker, C.Maslen, T.Thie, D.Burns, A.Cole, J.Williams, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, B.Stone, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Foley, W.Taylor, H.Russell.
Replacements: J.Crew, R.Talbot, R.Hervey. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker
Apparently, the Clevedon support for this away game was much depleted from the usual mob. A combination of illness, internationals and prior commitments left the team bereft of supporting noise. Consequently, the players must've been pining for the missing and couldn't concentrate on their game properly. By all accounts, they were fighting a rearguard action with injuries and only 13 on the park.
Tucks was pleased with the youngsters who were playing and indicates that the future is bright and that everyone should keep the faith, because they will bounce back.
Read the report here.
Next week, Clevedon are at home to fourth placed Newent for a 14:30 kick off and a 13:30 lunch.
Visit the Tribute South West One results here.
No news from his sick bed I'm afraid, but I'm sure he'll be fine this week and back to being a fully functioning Welsh person again. A win for Clevedon and Wales against South Africa will see him perk right up.
Short and sweet from me this week. My theory of non-attendance was proven wide of the mark as the loss to Matson substantiates. Even Mr T missed this one as he was too ill to make it. Must have been pretty rough for him to miss a match. Answers on a postcard when the last time he missed a 1st team game (Ed. 15 years ago!). Get well soon Mr President. Significantly, Cobweb Corner members were depleted this week. Much more of the same it seems from what I can gather from folks that were there. So, as I was not, I will leave the opinions of the match to others more qualified to comment. Next Saturday at the Vale versus Newent has to be the one.
Another good performance by our 3rd XV only to be replayed later, due to the ref being injured and unable to finish the game. Date of replay unknown at this stage. Hey ho, good for the bar profits if nowt else.
However, I did manage to attend the Ladies inaugural home game against Thornbury. It was a well supported day by all and good to see some of the adult male players and members pitch side lending their support to the female representatives of the club. Thornbury brought a fair few along too. An entertaining, hard fought game ensued with Thornbury doing enough in the final 10 mins to clinch victory. The game was well refereed by Adam Glen who let the game flow and made it good entertainment to watch. Look out Nigel Owen! Ladies day, with U15's and U13's also playing was a huge success. Yet again, a good apres match session in the bar shared with the Big Cheesies.
The cheesy, smeggie news this week is off the menu. Seems like Yogi's knob got the better of them. After all he is a Camembert.
This is only a temporary hiccup and I'm sure the news will be flowing just like some baked Camembert.
Team: T.Willis, J.Tucker, C.Maslen, T.Thie, M.Parslow, A.Cole, R.Talbot, B.Largenton, J.Crew, B.Stone, W.Trollope, O.Jones, W.Taylor, H.Russell, G.Carpenter.
Replacements: J.Crichton, R.Hervey, M.Fisher, A.Warren, O.Wilson. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker
Once the half time score suggested a comfortable win for Clevedon, the pitch-side support dwindled as people sneaked off to the clubhouse to watch the England game and to get in the warm.
The diehards though stayed to watch the second half and to get the flags, rope and post protectors in afte rthe final whistle.
There is also litter picking to be done as the rubbish strewn about the place during and after the match is a disgrace. Bin it or take it home with please!
Next week, Clevedon are away to Matson. The coach leaves at 11:00.
Visit the Tribute South West One results here.
The dear old Chirpy Chairman was at HQ and didn't see Clevedon's resounding victory at th Vale. What interesting chirps will he have this week?
Not much to report on this week as I was not at the cup game against Burnham on Sea. Me I should stay away more often.
With a few regular first team players away (this weekend was originally a blank on the fixture list), the young guns picked up the mantle and produced the goods for this match. It was a good win and will hopefully be the turnaround in our season. Matson away next week. How good would a win be there?,/p>
The 3rd XV are doing very well thank you and are at home to Yate. Please come along and voice your encouragement if the trip to Matson is not your cup of tea.
The Ladies are playing their first home fixture this Sunday against Cheddar. Please come along to the Vale to lend your support. It should be a good day.
At last, Tom is listening to his Dad's advice and wearing a hat.
The clubhouse was rammed for the England match so the Smogheads decided to hide their cheesy paraphernalia until the crowds has disappeared. What did they hide it?.
At last some good news from on the field. Well done lads.
On the cheese front, almost the entire Cheese Club membership, including that former Scotsman now calling himself English Dave were gathered on Saturday in a very busy clubhouse to watch the internationals. They were also there to sample a variety of gastronomic delights ranging from salted chilli belly pork (Paddy's favourite!!), Wasabi Almonds and a selection of cheeses.
One particular offering presented by the former Treasurer and ex-Ginger Terry Sulley was especially outstanding in that it smelt like a five week old corpse!!! Even I, the giant Smeggadon, couldn't face it, nor could that other blue cheese connoisseur Mr. Holland aka The Dutchman!! Ultimately, I believe it was returned to the point of purchase for a refund or replacement. Cheese members reckon it was supposed to be a portion of Cornish Blue, but was definitely a deathly shade of green. We look forward with anticipation to the replacement gracing the cheeseboard.
The boys return to league action on Saturday, let's hope for a good result and the start of a turnaround. Also, don't forget the lasses are playing this coming Sunday and I'm sure would appreciate everyone's support.
More festering cheesy news next week.
It has been determined that the onlooker is a proud Welshman and couldn't be contacted after the Welsh result. Perhaps he will break cover to give his unique view of the events this week. Where is he?
All the best. XX
Team: T.Willis, J.Tucker, C.Maslen, T.Thie, M.Parslow, A.Cole, R.Talbot, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Foley, H.Russell, D.Rawle.
Replacements: J.Crew, G.Carpenter, B.Stone. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker
Veteran Ben Stone has started playing again to provide the team with some much needed experience. His no-nonsense approach is a welcome sight when coming off the bench. His play around the park belying his advancing years with his trade mark quick stepping runs gaining yards. The old boys love him!
Unfortunately, the crowd was lacking a few due to the grey weather, the England 15:00 kick off and Clevedon slipping behind 0-14 in the first 20 minutes. The bar did well enough though!
The bonus point for Clevedon was their only reward after a controversial Launceston try five minutes from the end denied them the win.
Next week, Clevedon are at home to Burnham in a Somerset Cup quarter final. The kick off will be at 14:00, preceded by a lunch at 13:00. The Colts are also at home to Winscombe in the Somerset Colts Cup.
Visit the Tribute South West One results here.
Team: T.Thie, M.Taylor, A.Rice, C.Maslen, H.Butland, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, M.Honour, B.Bosley, D.Rawle, L.Appleby, H.Foley, R.Biggins, H.Russell(c). Replacements: B.Stone, J.Lugtig, J.Ford, A.Vailes. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Physio: G.Davis.
The game had hardly started and Clevedon found themselves 7 nil up as Aaron Rice carved his way through from a long way out. Five minutes later and it was all square.
As the scoreboard photos show, the game was even until the half hour mark when Kieran Hill increased Clevedon's lead with a penalty for a 7-10 half time scoreline.
The score stayed like that for a while and Clevedon further increased their lead with converted tries and penalties from the 50th minute.
A total of 5(4-1 Taunton) yellow cards explains what a frustrating time it was for the home side as Clevedon dominated the latter stages except for a consolation try on the final whistle.
A good win for Clevedon on a chilly night and after a slow journey down the motorway due the WSM carnival. The old boys were happy.
Clevedon are away to Matson on Saturday, 19th November, kick off 14:30. The seconds are at home to Wyvern.
What do we have to do to win this elusive second game and turn our season around? Another 2 point loss which is hard to bear. Legged it back from Ashton Gate to see us give Launceston the usual 14 point start before proceeding to dominate play. Forwards, yet another immense shift. Cannot fault the effort put in by all 18 to be honest. Not one to slate referees, but thought the man in the middle was having a decent game until the last 20 mins where he seemed to miss a fair bit, resulting in Launceston pinching the result at the death. It has got to come soon. Maybe the break and cup game next week will benefit us.
"He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior."
Have to mention our Honoured Secretary this week for not only doing a first rate job running the line but for the manner he admonished a Clevedon spectator on the side-line for critiquing the way our young side were performing. Send him to Mike T next time for a severe dapping!
Another good afternoon and evening in the Clubhouse on Saturday with the Colts win at home, which was later boosted by the return of the triumphant 3rd XV after another victory away at Broadplain. BZ fellas. Our visitors stayed for a good while, which was nice to see. My Mrs stayed longer than usual as well. Probably due to the Launceston boys getting their kit off after a few wets.
Must give a mention to the present and former players who made an appearance for Bristol United v UK Armed Forces. All three did well, nice one Harley Foley, Kieran Hill and Alex Giltrow. Good to see Gilly back at the club on Saturday supporting and having a beer with the boys.
The Doom Bar seems to be going down well. Was going to get Cauliears's opinion after the game, but he seemed to disappear after the final whistle. Was he that upset with the result or was the threat of being called "a fire hazard" too much for him?
Some geezer who bears a very strong resemblance to the bloke with ears, no hair, no teeth and glasses, appears to have been involved in an accident. The lengths some people will go to in order to avoid putting their hands in their pocket is beyond belief. Cheese members reckon the injury was incurred when using his JCB like claw to hoover up Smoggies sandwiches last week!! The bloke himself insists it was an accident whilst leisurely cycling on a training ride and was later heard to utter "Back in the day they would have amputated it".
A fine piece of Roquefort was unveiled as Saturday afternoon turned more to rugby on the TV rather than on the pitch at the Vale, which immediately prompted our diminutive Irish member to turn a shade of green only slightly paler than the Irish shirts and mutter something about live wasps again. We never realised he was such a fan of them!!
This didn't deter him though from having a dispute with El Presidente about which of the Welsh or Irish games should be on the big screen. Given Paddy's reputation for his Gaelic temper and punching well above his weight, Sir Michael retreated to the skittle alley to watch Wales, only to return later with a glum look on his face, which wasn't helped by Paddy extolling the skills of the Irish side!!
Cup game this weekend let's hope for a change of fortune.
More stinky, mouldy, cheesy waspy news next week.
I have decided to write this week having neglected to do so last week, because of the disappointing result we had at Keynsham. Please accept my apologies.
I took to my bed for a couple of days afterwards and when I got out I forgot why I'd been there and carried on with my week.
Well same old story, but we're nearly there. We will get there in the end.
It was nice to see the chairman rushing back to see us play and striding up the touchline with his black and white (Ed. It was Bristol Blue!) scarf around his neck.The same colours as the Cornish flag (Ed. Not) that was behind the posts.
The tallest man won the port, did he share it?. Pottsie paraded around with his arm in a sling having come off his bike .I thought only kids did that, say no more. He disappearedd after the game for his long walk home. Let us know next time, because we thought you had got lost in the mud m ate!.
A great time was had in the club with the Launceston lads getting into the swing of things just like "Years ago".The after match raffle has become a hit. I now have won quite a number of Christmas presents. Ah, well happy days are still down at the Vale with the 3rd team doing well and the Colts also winning in the sea of mud.
All the best. XX
Well he wasn't chirpy on Saturday and neither was anyone else?
What can one say about that game? Most of the travelling support had a warm, fuzzy feeling about this one. All in good spirits on the trip across, but a bit disappointed and disillusioned on the return. having had the majority of possession and territory.
We were the better side, but slack tackling and not taking our opportunities were our demise. After giving Keynsham a 14-0 start I always felt we would push on and win this one. The forwards were again dominant in the scrum, but the lineout was not as good as it might be. We looked to only have one option at our lineout and this was sussed early on by the opposition. This was truly a case of could have, should have, would have. But didn't.
What do we have to do to get the elusive second win? Simples, beat Launceston next Saturday at The Vale.
Keep up the effort boys and it will come. Rest assured, us 'old farts' we will be behind you.
"If you train hard, you'll not only be hard, you'll be hard to beat."
To finish on a high note, the 3rd XV had a superb win against Barton Hill II. Be careful boys, you may be on that rocky road to promotion.
The girls festival on Sunday was really well attended with plenty of local sides gracing us with their presence. Good to see all those out there enjoying the competition and the sunshine.
Oh, by the way if you did not already know, The Ruckers won last week in the skittles beating local rivals, The Gremlins. This may be why our President has been unusually happy this past week. All down to Weave skittling out of his socks again. No thanks to this bloke sticking out his tongue and wiggling his behind at the opposition.
Looking forward to a chirpy weekend.
Was he there? Is he okay? Is he still disappointed?
They don't travel well, but are sure to provide some insight soon?
...and here it is.
The Smoggie member of the Smeggy club has returned to active service following his intestinal clear-out caused by something he possibly caught from eating low fat health food stuff. He swears it's more efficient than colonic irrigation!!
As expected, all the usual suspects were pleased to see him back in the fold on Saturday, none more so than the bloke with ears, no hair, no teeth and glasses (Cauliears), who proceeded to demolish around a dozen of the egg mayo sandwiches Smoggie brought from his 1 year old granddaughters birthday tea party. Even The Prez didn't get a look in!!
As Saturday evening wore on, inevitably the port was sampled from Martyn's bar selection. When asked if he was going to participate our globe-trotting Chairman declined (much to the astonishment of all) by stating: "By eck nay. Ar've got ta geet back te are lass, she be cooking supper like" - he's from Sheffield.
The bottle of Taylors LBV 2011 was a fine selection, reasonably priced and smooth on the palate. Good value. (Just so you know what you missed Jim)
Demanche et la grande fromage was enjoyed by those who sampled it. Our diminutive Irish member started chuntering about eating live wasps as a preference, though I'm not sure he realises they don't come in a full fat version!!
We're not sure if he was feeling a little embarrassed at missing out on Saturday, but the Chairman provided another bottle of port for our afternoon session on Sunday, very pleasantly named "Body Snatcher". It worked for me!!
Good luck to the boys on the pitch this weekend - I'm off to slimming world.
More stinky mouldy cheesy news next week.
Team: T.Thie, T.Willis, C.Maslen, B.Williams, J.Tucker, A.Cole, A.Vailes, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Foley, J.Crew, D.Rawle.
Replacements: D.Burns, A.Davis, J.Butler. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker
After quickly going down 14-0 in the opening minutes, Clevedon clawed their way back to a half time score 14-12. Things were looking good with the Clevedon pack paving the way and the big promise of a better second half.
Unfortunately, Clevedon leaked another try shortly after the restart and again recovered to 19-17 with ten minutes to play. Either of three kickable penalties would've sealed the match for Clevedon, but didn't and Clevedon were left to rue the early costly mistakes.
The signs are there for a recovery and with a home game next week, maybe this'll be the week they complete it.
Next week, Clevedon are at home to Launceston for a 14:30 kick off, preceded by a lovely, luscious lunch at 13:30.
Visit the Tribute South West One results here.
Team: T.Thie, M.Taylor, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, H.Butland, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, M.Honour, B.Bosley, W.Trollope, H.Foley, R.Biggins, H.Russell, O.Biggins(c). Replacements: L.Appleby, C.Maslen, J.Ford. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: N.Tucker. Physio: G.Davis.
Another high scoring game and plenty of Clevedon tries, this one from Dean Ashfield.
Clevedon boast the second highest positive points difference and also the highest number of bonus points after runaway league leaders WSM.
This is a great start to the season for Clevedon who face Taunton away in the Somerset Cup on Friday, 11th November, kick off 19:30.
As I lie on my sunbed in sunny Cyprus, I'm thinking of you all back home and wondering what I'm missing.
My old war wounds are telling me that the game will be close as we've always raised our game against student teams in the past.
As Another penile colada arrives by side, my bonnie wife tells me not to fret so much.
"Jimmy my love" she says, "Whatever happens, I'm here for you - you know that don't you?". I replied "I do my lovely one and that's very sweet of you my darling, because I'm here for YOU as well".
At which point, she decides to go into the sea for a swim and for a bit of fun, I shout after her, "Don't go in the water my love, they'll harpoon you", which spoilt the great holiday vibe we had going. Some people have no sense of humour.
P.S. I'm only here to celeberate the wife's birthday after all and would much rather be standing pitchside at The Vale sharing the craic with you lot, but don't say a word, okay?
Unable to make the game again on Saturday, but will have to put pen to paper as I don't want to encounter the wrath of the "long haired editor" [Too late mate!]. Sounds like I missed a cracker and a losing bonus point against the unbeaten league leaders is no mean feat. Well done Hilly, the coaching team and the boys. Off the bottom and improving. Looking forward to doing battle with Keynsham next week.
What else did I miss? Did the "cashless one" buy a round? Is it true Cauliears is on a diet and bypassed the kebab van on his way home? Is Mr T still smiling or is it the inherent wind problem that plagues the males in the Thomas household? Has there been a sighting of the short No Neck, Terry 'arris?
I did, however, come across this guy in a taverna doing on impression of old 'arris, bobbing up and down like this, in true 'arris fashion. Not on par with our Terry though !
This is the cheese straw that broke the camel's back.
The Smeggites have taken delivery of a fondue set and seem to be proud of their new purchase. These hard-core cheese and hot chilli lovers are reliving their first experiences by using the "Fondue Set Time Machine" to travel back to a time when they were all the rage.
Come on down to the club this weekend and witness Le Grande Fromage and his followers dipping their bread into the gooey, moulten mass in front of them. Who knows, they might start a new trend.
Now that would be a first.
More Fondue news next week.
Well, what an encouraging performance that was. It was just a pity that our chairman was in the sun and heat of Cyprus while we were watching our babes in the cold wind. It was great to see old man Fordie down there giving his witty and sarcastic omments. Poor old Weave was stuck at a wedding away from his beloved Doombar, so his deputy took charge of the camera and cocked it up by missing the last two tries. Cauliears was happy with the Doombar, which I must say went down very well. It was also nice to see Harris back and increasing the bar take.
The students were not allowed to drink because they had to get back to Exeter, but fair enough they were amicable enough and learned a great deal about club life I'm sure.
Onward to Keynsham next week and the climb up the table starts begins.
Team: T.Willis, D.Burns, T.Thie, C.Maslen, M.Parslow, A.Cole, A.Vailes, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Foley, C.Tucker, D.Rawle.
Replacements: J.Crew, M.Fisher, R.Hervey. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker
From the kick off it was obvious that the game plan was to munch Exeter University up-front. This tactic worked for 80% of the game, but was undone just before and after half time.
Straight after the restart, the students chucked the ball about with gay abandon and leapt into a 31-10 lead after 50 minutes. They didn't score again as Clevedon reasserted themselves and clawed their way back to a losing bonus, which was very satisfying for the watching supportes who had feared a rout.
There was a try from Tom Thie (pictured) and two from Cameron Maslen, which the replacement photographer failed to capture. Apparently, the old duffer pressed the off button for the first of Cam's tries and and missed the second when the camera battery ran out. Come back Weave - PLEASE!
More of the same committment and determination next week Clevedon and we'll give our old foes Keynsham a fright. The kick off is at 14:15.
Visit the Tribute South West One results here.
Team: T.Thie, M.Taylor, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, H.Butland, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, M.Honour, B.Bosley, W.Trollope, H.Foley, R.Biggins, H.Russell, O.Biggins(c). Replacements: T.Statton, C.Maslen, J.Ford. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: N.Tucker. Physio: G.Davis.
In recent years Drybrook have been battling with a wild boar problem. This was finally resolved a couple of seasons ago when the RFU kindly helped them erect a boar-proof fence around their pitches. This was to keep the boars out.
However, it can now be reported that it failed spectactularly with the arrival of the Clevedon "No Necks" boring team. They entered clubhouse through the unguarded door and bored the locals senseless with their oft-repeated jacketed stories of years ago.
Drybrook have now applied for another RFU grant to assist with the detection of BOFs. They're sure to be successful.
The heavy winds and torrential rain wreaked havoc in the peleton during the three days of the this seven man challenge. The intrepid bunch battled on despite the adverse conditions and could be found alive and well in Clevedon on Sunday. Well done you tenacious lot.
They have exceeded their sponsorship target, which is fab. If you would like to donate, please go to their Just Giving page to do so.
Apologies for lack of communication last week. No excuses really, and the error of my ways has been kindly pointed out by the editor.
On the playing front, a bit of a mixed bag really. We are struggling with playing numbers and finding it difficult to field three adult men's teams and a Colts team in the same week.
The 1st XV are still striving to put that second win on the board, but have a couple of tough weeks with the loss last week to Drybrook and the visit of Exeter Students next. The lads are putting in the effort and the final score again did not reflect the game. On a wet, windy and inclement day we lost to a good side from "the Forest". The "not so Dry"brook knew they had been in a game and a few of their supporters were complimentary with their views of our young side. Keep it up boys, I'm sure it will happen for us eventually.
The 3rd team had the better success with a good win at the Vale against Winscombe. Keep up the sterling work guys. Is promotion a possibility?
The ladies suffered a narrow loss to Thornbury, but the more the Ladies play the better they get. Making improvements week on week is tremendous girls. Looking forward to your first game at the Vale next month.
On the social side, the Club is flourishing. After a soaking and rinsing endured up at Drybrook the No Necks and Cobweb Corner got back to the clubhouse in good spirits as the team had put in a good shift. Looking to have a quiet pint and put the world to rights, some were disappointed to see a band setting up, complete with a mixing desk! This could only mean loud music. Not to some of the old and bolds' taste. For those that stayed in the club, it was a good evening. Although not one for quiet discussion. Some of the Cheesies were also seen making somewhat of a hasty retreat. Not so for Trev who was determined to see off a bottle of vodka he had won I the raffle. For those that hung around, we were again spoiled by the front row dancing team showing us some of their moves. Who needs "Strictly" on a Saturday night?
Again, on Sunday, the Cheesies normally sedate afternoon cheese tasting was broken up by the ladies returning from their game in high spirits despite their defeat. A boisterous and lively afternoon ensued completed by a Sunday lunch prepared by the Ladies and their coaching team. Great to see a good crowd enjoying themselves on what is usually a quiet day. Nice one ladies.
Last but not least, a BZ must go to the intrepid cycling team for their determination in atrocious conditions, cycling from West Ham's new ground to the Liberty Stadium. Not sure how much you guys raised but well done to you all and your support team. I am sure the Big Cheese, Martin Boldison will enlighten us with a few dits from the trip.
Webmaster please note: BZ is used in naval and NATO circles, usually as semaphore, flag-hoist or morse to pass on a 'well done'. With your naval connections, I thought you would recognise the acronym!
Foxtrot Oscar Chirps
Another trip into The Forest with the usual suspects on board. The coach trip showed Chairman Jim fast asleep after a late night in Plymouth and an early trip back for the 11:30 departure. The man with cauliears and the well defined paunch had to listen to Chalkie the Cashless about cricket and the travails of Arsenal. Cruncher kept asking me to repeat things, because I was on his deaf side. Weave was the perfect gentleman, because he was dozing as was the President who was slyly kipping all the way toDrybrook.
On arrival we old men rushed into the bar to be bought a drink by the welcoming Drybrook committee, although the caulieared fellow was not keen on the beer, which I and everyone else enjoyed. Instead, he got stuck into the sandwiches and didn't stop until kick off - what a surprise.
Once back in the clubhouse Cauliears and Cashless did runners leaving the Chair, Pres and snappers to buy their own drinks and listen to the band that had squatted on half the clubhouse floor. It was very loud, so I left in time to watch Strictly - what a treat.
Unfortunately there aren't many tales from the saddle other than to say the boys done good.
There's been enough said abpout the playing side for now, but off the pitch the cheesy boys have been continuing to worship the smelly blue veiner stuff. With Tugboat "Dairylea" Hancock in full training for his epic cycle ride from West Ham to Swansea, which he completed in just 3 days, he was granted a dispensation to consume the foil wrapped slimy triangles in order to boost his performance. We can only assume in the saddle and nothing to do with his other favourite pastime, skittles.
Our very own El Presidente Mr Thomas seemed to be rather confused on his return from Drybrook on Saturday, along with the remainder of the gang of four --He with luxurious flowing locks, the bloke with glasses, ears and no teeth and our globe-trotting Chairman. On arrival back on home turf the senior admitted to pestering sales assistants in Tesco in his forlorn quest to find a supply of "The powerful Welsh Collier". We assume he meant the very tasty Welsh Cheddar Cheese, and not some long lost wandering Welsh coal miner!!! He appeared crestfallen when advised he should have gone to Costco not Tesco. Good luck in your search Mike.
Good luck to the boys on the pitch this weekend. More stinky, mouldy, cheesy news next week.
Team: J.Tucker, M.Parslow, T.Thie, C.Maslen, D.Burns, A.Cole, M.Fisher, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Foley, C.Tucker, G.Carpenter.
Replacements: J.Crew, B.Stone, J.Crichton. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker
The coach journey up to The Forest was a very windy, but dry affair and the coach driver had a hard time of it trying to keep the bus in straight line. By the time we reached Drybrook, the wind had strengthened and the rain was sheeting down. Needless to say, most people weren't equipped for the foul weather and couldn't wander around keeping up with play. Fortunately, there was a sheltered standing area along the bottom touchline, but meant they were tethered to one spot in the crowded shelter.
They would've been too far away to see Clevedon's only try, which was scored in the far corner away from them. This intrepid writer was there to see Blaise Bosley driving over from all of two feet. He looked askance at the referee, wondering if his score was legal. It was, but with the conversion missed in the swirling wind, the celebrations were short lived.
Clevedon's lead lasted eight minutes as Drybrook's consistent team selection paid dividends for them. Clevedon battled hard, but were up against it in the second half playing into the teeth of Storm Brian and against a hard running Drybrook team who deserved their victory.
Entry to the game was a couple of quid for us oldies, which included a programme - a lot cheaper than anyone else in the league.
Due to an administrative glich, the Clevedon team in the programme was completely different from the one selected for this game. There were only four players in the team who featured in that programme and emphasises the selection nightmare that coach Hill faces every week.
Next week, Clevedon are at home to Exeter University, (who seem to be doing a Hartpury) for a 15:00 kick off with the lunch at 14:00. The seconds are away to Bath Old Edwardians.
Team: T.Thie, M.Lowis, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, H.Butland, K.Hill, A.Vailes, B.Largenton, M.Honour, B.Bosley, T.Statton, W.Trollope, H.Foley, R.Biggins, H.Russell(c). Replacements: G.Carpenter, C.Maslen, J.Ford. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: N.Tucker. Physio: G.Davis. Referee: (Somerset Society)
It must have been frustrating for him having to watch a dominant (if you ignore the opening minute WSM try!) Clevedon first half display.
This domination was finally rewarded by prop Brian Largenton's try just before half time, which increased Clevedon's lead for a halftime 9-16 lead.
A couple of minutes into the second half and WSM had clawed back 3 more points. Undaunted, Clevedon hit back with another converted try by hooker Matt Honour to lead 8-23 with half an hour to go.
At this stage and from the resulting restart in Clevedon's 22, WSM used their gincoeros pack to win a penalty try, after ten minutes of scrummaging. The penny finally dropped for the home side and they repeated their ploy for another try converted try after a Clevedon yellow. It's fair to say that the WSM backs didn't get much of a look in after that and basked in the late afternoon sunshine while their pack won the game for them.
On a grey, wet and dismal morning in Stratford, the seven intrepid cyclists have fuelled up for the first stage of their 220 mile trek to Newbury.
Hancock, Richards and Haliburton can be seen smiling and seemingly keen to get on with it with the promise of a nice warm bath at the end of the day.
With the weather deteriorating over the next three days, they'll be glad they did all those extra miles in training - you did, didn't you?
Ready, Steady... GO!
At 08:00 on Thursday 19th October, seven magnificent, hardy cyclists will set out from West Ham United's ground in Stratford for a 3 day, 220 mile journey to Swansea City's Liberty Stadium ground. It looks like a punishing schedule, which can be found here:
The Magnificent Seven are Peter Hancock, Tony Donkin, Chris Williams, Chris Haliburton, Mark Richards, Tim Crisp and Tim Brooks.
If you would like to donate and find out more about this epic, once in a lifetime bike ride then please visit their fund-rasing page here.
There will be updates as when they get the time to post them during the ride.
Good luck to you all.
Martin "Le Grande Fromage" Boldison is one of two drivers, the other being Steve "Sparky" Parker, chaperoning the seven cyclists doing the charity bike ride. No doubt Smoggy will have some fine anecdotes for his next cheesy news next week and maybe a picture or two of the trip.
Hopefully, they'll get them home safely on Sunday morning.
Obviously with no game last weekend, the Chairman has nothing to chirp about, but there must be other news surely? Maybe the pink stuff he's drinking has affected him.
This is an unusual occurrence, because Jimmy's not usually so reticent. Perhaps the pressures and anxieties of high office have robbed him of the will to chirp. Let's hope not.
Chirping will resume next week.
Team: T.Thie, M.Parslow, B.Williams, C.Maslen, T.Willis, M, A.Cole, J.Williams, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, D.Rawle, O.Jones, H.Foley, H.Russell, A.Davis .
Replacements: W.Trollope, B.Stone, C.Tucker. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker
This was definitely not a game for the neutrals. They would've seen an error strewn match from both sides and would've wondered what on earth thirty blokes were doing on a grey old day in Clevedon. It was retaining possession that's for sure!
Team: T.Thie, B.Williams, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, H.Butland, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, J.Ford, B.Bosley, T.Statton, W.Trollope, H.Foley, R.Biggins, O.Biggins(c). Replacements: G.Carpenter, C.Maslen, M.Honour. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: N.Tucker. Physio: G.Davis. Referee: (Bristol Society)
This should be a short one from me. Having not been at the Cully game I do not feel qualified to comment on it, but from all I have spoken to, the result did not reflect the game. The difference being that they took the majority of their chances and we did not.
Although not much to cheer about on the pitch, we do seem to be doing quite well on the bar and catering front. Well done Martyn the Bar Steward and his crew and well done to all the male and female for punters putting their hard earned into the Club.
I did however, hear some chuntering from various factions, Cobweb Corner and some of the No Necks being included, for Doom Bar to have permanent status in the bar.
Come on Martyn, you could improve your popularity no end if you gave the members what they wanted and you could give them a black eye for being so militant.
A big shout to the duty barman on Saturday, who has changed his hairstyle from short-back-and-sides to a curly wurly top-knot and go no end of stick from everyone - Weave, buy your son a hat!.
More beery, cheery, chirpy-wirpy news next week.
Well another defeat, but the supporters seem upbeat and willing to support the youngsters and the coaching staff.
It was noted that the chairman was absent, but did arrive in time to see Clevedon's only try - could we have won if he'd watched the whole match ?.
At least this week was a success in one way. The clumsy oaf (own up - who are you?) who had tried to wind in the rope for the past two weeks did not try again this and therefore, the professionals put it away unharmed.
Some how we fielded four teams this week, which is a first for a very long time. The bar obviously profited from this, so long may it continue.
Later on in the clubhouse, Nick Hill was spotted with his adorable wife who was looking as elegant as ever. Nick was attired in a modern day sports jacket, proving that he does have something else to wear apart from the club polo shirt. Very smart indeed.
Well the action on the pitch wasn't much to write an essay about last Saturday, and it has to be said that the action off the pitch wasn't far behind!!
By far the best move of the weekend was a brilliant blind side surge from some Welsh geezer who appears to have adopted the same name as a cartoon train - Ivor the Engine by all accounts. It was enough to send an Ivor Tingle down the cheese club members' spines as the non-member swooped and hoovered up a mouthful of the assorted curds left open and vulnerable on the table top.
There was however a fleeting moment of panic on his face as he realised he had also munched into one of the fiery hot chilli onions on display, which appeared to turn his mouth into something resembling the firebox on his puffer train.
At least our most diminutive member has returned from the Emerald Isle, which should improve the Guinness sales and liven up proceedings going forward - Welcome back Paddy.
There will be a new cheese making a guest appearance this coming weekend, which should interest him and our Chairman. It's just arrived from across the channel and is currently stinking out Smoggies smeggie fridge. You'll probably smell it before you see it. Let's hope it puts the Welsh bloke off too!!
More Smeggodon news next week.
A great opportunity to spend an evening in the presence of an All Black Legend. Would be good to get a Clevedon RFC presence at this local event.
Contact Chairman Jim McVeigh if you're interested at firstname.lastname@example.org. Tickets can also be bought direct from Concierge
You can also find Jim in the clubhouse during the week, surrounded by the Cheesy Dips.
I don't suppose many people have noticed the absence of the number seven shirt. This has been the case since the first two minutes of the first game against Okehampton when flanker Joe Ford went of injured after dislocating a shoulder.
As he left the pitch on his way to hospital some callous, heartless and unfeeling individual in the crowd shouted after him "Don't let them cut the shirt off, it's brand new!".
The advice was heard by the unfortunate Joe, but the subsequent gas and air left him unable to speak coherently and the amazing A&E staff cut it off, right up the front.
Thankfully, Joe is recovering and will be for most of the season, but the seven shirt will not be and won't be seen on the pitch again, ever.
The Scout hut end is taking it's toll.
No one taps the ball over any more and consequently they end up over the fence in the brambles, never to be seen again.
Sometimes they clear both the Scout hut and the adjoining land and more than likely ending up on a lorry going down Kenn Road.
If you spot a ball that looks forlorn and lonely, please return it to Jeff Durant who will put it back into his ball incubator.
If you'd like to sponsor a ball and donate it to the Scouts, please contact Jim McVeigh at the clubhouse.
I don't think I am qualified to comment on the Thornbury game as I could not make it due to a prior, arranged engagement in Gibraltar last weekend.
However, I have heard reports that we were pretty unlucky not to come away with a win. All in all I believe we are making progress and we are not far off that second win.
Having just read the last issue of the Shining Wit's Forum, I strongly refute the accusation that any collusion has taken place. Perhaps that lovely, long haired and delightful webmaster is mistaken with his accusations, but I am sure he is up to no good. I'll leave it at that as I do not want to get into a literary battle with said ne'er-do-well.
Ed. Perhaps, collusion was the wrong word - should've used plagiarised instead and attributed the bootlegging of the text to The Onlooker, whose report was the last to arrive.
Roll on next week with another home game, which I may not be able to attend due to Bristol Rugby deciding to ostracize most of the local rugby fraternity by deciding to play some games on Saturdays this season!
Rant over, have a good week. It's back to the recovery position for me.
More cheery, chirpy news next week.
I thought the game was in the bag after an early lead, but there we are, I do get it wrong sometimes, just like the time I'd forgotten I'd already bought a round and bought another, way back '67.
We missed our leader today as he was playing with the monkeys in Gibraltar and watching some Corps rugby event. He'll no doubt return with tales of daring-do and lack of sleep.
There are some great club members who put the club first, an example being John Harvey, aka Mr Funcity, who won the lunchtime bottle of whiskey, but put it back to be drawn again next week. Pesronally, I don't think he likes the stuff.
The bar was very busy after the game with Martyn the Bar Steward working flat out with a skeleton staff, but the bloke with the ears, no teeth and glasses could not wait to be served, so he departed. He should have done what Mr.crane did - be patient sit down and wait.
Great to see Terry Harris back in the fold after getting permission from his injured wife and said he would only stay for quick one (I mean drink of course) if needed. He was still there when I left at 20:00. Well done Terry.
I look forward to next week with a win on the board, which I'm sure Nick and Rufus will be pleased with.
More insight next week.
As reported last week, we shall shortly be entering the Port sampling season, commencing on the 14th October. Martyn the Bar Steward has already started stocking up on supplies, so if anyone wants to start and warm up early, please feel free to do so.
The Carolina Reaper chilli made another appearance on the cheese table on Saturday, with "He of thick flowing locks" Cruncher Crane threatening to take a bite!! Needless to say he chickened it at the last moment. Even the bloke with the ears, no teeth and glasses wasn't interested in having a nibble -- maybe he's just off his food!!
Some very tasty Dorset Naga chilli onions put in an appearance, courtesy of Smoggies trip to sunny Dorset.These were enjoyed by all who were brave enough to sample their delicate flavour.
Our illustrious Chairman's absence from proceedings was noted, although he did put in an appearance on Sunday following his return from yet another globe-trotting trip where he was no doubt brushing up on his survival skills - Ray Mears eat your heart out. Rough, tough hard to muff though he is, he still wouldn't try the onions - pussy!!
Home again this week, let's hope for a better outcome and some really ripe curds.
More Smeggie news next week.
Team: T.Willis, T.Thie, B.Williams, C.Maslen, J.Tucker, A.Cole, A.Vailes, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, R,Biggins, O.Biggins, D.Rawle.
Replacements: B.Stone, J.Vickers, W.Taylor. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker
Clevedon could've won this home given a bit more patience and a littles less petulance. Hey ho, that's the way it goes when you have a new mix of old and new players. Things will settle down soon and Clevedon will be moving higher up the league to avoid to the relegation battle and a few panic attacks from the old timers.
Next Saturday, Clevedon 1st Xv are at home to Cullompton for a 15:00 kick off nad preceded by a lunch at 14:00. The 2nd XV are away to Keynsham.
Contact Chairman Jim McVeigh if you're interested at email@example.com. Tickets can also be bought direct from Concierge
You can also find Jim in the clubhouse during the week, surrounded by the Cheesy Dips.
Team: T.Thie, M.Taylor, A.Rice, C.Maslen, H.Butland, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, J.Ford, J.Lugtig, T.Statton, W.Trollope, R.Biggins, H.Russell, O.Biggin(c). Replacements: L.Appleby, B.Bosley, H.Foley. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: N.Tucker. Physio: G.Davis. Referee: Nick Heath (Somerset Society)
Throughout this game Clevedon just had the edge, but couldn't quite break down the home defence. An opportunistic drop goal from Kieran Hill after 6 minutes, who somehow picked the ball off his boots, saw the ball squeeze in by the righthand post from 25 yards for a 0-3 lead.
Next week, Clevedon are at home to Chard. The lunch is at 13:30 and the kick off off is at 15:00.The seconds are away to Bristol Harlequins for a 15:00 kick off.
This is nothing to do with coach Hill or his son. It is about survival of the fittest.
One of Kingsbridge's best kept secrets for coach travelling away teams is the last quarter of a mile to the clubhouse. Coaches have to park at the bottom of the hill due to a narrow road and 20% hairpin half way up and categorized by The Tour as a CAT 1 climb.
The intrepid old boys who travelled with the players were left to their own devices and faced the daunting trek on their own. Messr's Thomas, Harris, Potts and McVeigh started out together, but finished in ascending order of age - McVeigh, Potts, Harris, and Thomas.
The incentive for them all was to get past the entrance before the gate keeper arrived, which they did, leaving enough dosh to buy a refreshing pint.
Thank goodness they all survived - going home in a body bag would have been a bit disappointing and bad for morale.
Team: T.Thie, D.Burns, B.Williams, C.Maslen, M.Fisher, A.Cole, J.Williams, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Russell, H.Foley, A.Davis.
Replacements: J.Crewe, W.Taylor, J.Crichton. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker
I was instructed by a few absent older types, with grey hair and beer bellies that they would like some text updates during the match.
As the scoreline would suggest, I was kept busy and and had plenty of time to type, while waiting for the conversions.
Here they are for your enjoyment.
15:04 Cameron yellow after 2, tip tackle
15:10 Missed penalty after 10
15:18 Held up on line, hanging on, penalty. Play on half way
15:18 7-0, missed tackle in centres
15:22 12 0 from cross field kick, missed a couple of first up tackles
15:23 Passes not going to hand from restart that Harley won.scrum on bridgy 10
15:34 One missed penalty 20 yards out 12-5 still
15:41 12-10 5 yard scrum, shove, number 8 easy conversion missed by replacement kicker Thie
15:42 HT 12-10
15:51 2 mins gone and now19-10. Missed first up tackles again.
15:58 26-10, usual bad stuff
16:03 Just got worse. A poor kick by bridgy, midfielder by winger ,quick throw in and 31-10
16:09 Good news, now 31-15, Harvey from close range scrum
16:09 20 mins to go
16:12 34-15, penalty front of posts
16:27 4 scrums and eventually scored 34-22
16:27 Bonus point
16:30 41- 22, that's the losing bonus point gone that we could have got
16:35 FT 41-22
The game was enjoyable because it was so open and unintentionally loose from both sides, which seems to be the pattern in the league. Bonus points are king and with 42 already scored in four rounds of the league, it promised to be a roller coaster ride for the remainder of the season.
Next week, Clevedon 1st XV are at home to Thornbury for a 15:00 kick off, preceded by the usual lovely lunch. The 2nd XV are away to Old Sulians for a 15:00 kick off.
Leave early to avoid the triffic traffic.
Clevedon Kate is Captain of Wasps Ladies and proud dad Trev went up to Hartpury to watch her play. His report mentioned the words "they was robbed", which was probably a true statement from the gnarly old timer, beacuse he knows his stuff having captained Clevedon way back in 1986.
What a huge honour it is for the club and her proud family to see Kate captaining one the top premier division sides.
That's my girl!
Team: T.Thie, M.Taylor, B.Williams, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, M.Taylor, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, J.Ford, B.Bosley,T.Statton, W.Trollope, R.Biggins, H.Russell, O.Biggin(c). Replacements: L.Appleby, J.Lugtig, H.Foley. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: J.Durant. Physio: G.Davis. Referee: Ellis Davies (Liverpool Society)
The "60 Years at The Vale" celebrations were a boost for Clevedon who had a larger and more vociferous crowd than usual to support them. A bonus point win was the fourth game in a row that had gained some points, which bodes well for the rest of the season.
Next week, Clevedon are away to promoted Kingsbridge with the coach leaving at 11:00 sharp. Only five pounds for supporters. The seconds have a home game against Castle Cary for a 15:00 kick off.
This week the Clevedon clubhouse was celebrating "60 Years at The Vale" and had a lookalike competition to add to the fun. The competition was won by these two gentlemen. They didn't take to kindly to being compared with a disgraced former Aussie and for the record, stated that their wobble-boards were still in pristine condition, thank you very much!
Other lookalikes that entered were an Uncle Fester (Pottsy), several Weebles (Col, Higgy, Jimmy, and Papa), one Santa Claus (Fordie) and a boyband wannabe (Crunch).
Unfortunately, another loss on the road, which again, can be put down to poor tackling. The forwards dominated possession, the scrum on top all afternoon, but the lineout was not as clinical as it has been. Probably the less said the better.
Mike T. provided the transport for a few of us down to Bridgwater and all were in high spirits on the way there. Cannot say the same for the trip back. We did not stay for a beer, El Presidente could not be consoled and not much conversation ensued. He did cheer up a bit though after a Butcombe or two back in the Clubhouse.
An appetizing buffet was provided by our hosts, which the tall bloke with glasses and the ears made the most of. His name has slipped my mond. but he did pay several visits to the buffet table.
During the feasting, we were entertained by the "lovechild's" repartee and wit. Undoubtedly, the highlight of the day.
It has become apparent that The Chirpy Chairman and the Onlooker travelled in the same car. Thay have obviously colluded about what to write and as the Onlooker report was last to desk, I'll leave his report verbatim.
Well another defeat on the road. The trip back from Bridgwater in the car was subdued. The chairman asked the president to stop sulking. It was different going down the M5 as the car load were happy with Chalky coming in with his cricket comments, although it is out of season.
Pottsy was pleased that we were being fed and went back for second helpings, but so did I.
We were entertained by our old friend Mike Berry and had a chat about the past. We came to the conclusion that things ain't what they used to be.
Anyway, back at the Vale we all drowned our sorrows and Chalky bought us a round. Well done Chalky.
From this series of stories and for you ameteur sleuths out there, you should be able to determine who the "Lovechild" is, who the "tall bloke with glasses and the ears" is and who the Onlooker is. From that you should also be able to deduce who the driver was, who the chairman is and how many people were in the car and who doesn't buy around very often.
Answers on a postcard please, addressed to the clubhouse.
An unexpected appearance on Saturdays cheese board was made by the Carolina Reaper chilli. Until very recently, this fiery little devil was rated the worlds hottest chilli.
Needless to say, there were no Cheese Club members willing to munch into its furnace like, seed filled flesh. However, the young Mr Sulley did put a whole one into his home made chilli con carne, which the ever adventurous Trev Alder sampled. He was later heard to comment "That were a right hot ring stinger that were, me babber", eyes looking rather bloodshot!!!
Port sampling will be commence on 14th October with Martyn on bar steward supplying a list of potential juicy bottles to consider.
That's all from sunny Dorset for now. Got to get back to my blue veiner, sorry, meant blue vinney.
More Smeggie news next week.
Team: T.Thie, J.Tucker, B.Williams, C.Maslen, M.Fisher, A.Cole, J.Williams, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Russell, H.Foley, A.Davis.
Replacements: J.Crewe, W.Taylor, M.Winter. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker
What a time to get dragged away to Dorset to celebrate your wife's birthday - a game not to be missed, but I missed it.
As the text commentary from photographer Pete kept pinging through to me on the Lyme Regis beach, I was getting more and more frustrated that I wasn't there. It was made worse by the mobile signal dropping out completely with score at 36-31 and it wasn't until I returned to civilisation (the campsite) that I eventually found out the final stupendous scoreline. Grrrrr!
This result will perk everyone up a bit and with a local derby against old rivals Bridgwater away next week, it will do wonders for the confidence, both on and off the field.>
Due to unprecedented demand, the Club's allocation of Six Nations tickets has been SOLD OUT.
Many thanks, Jim McVeigh
Team: H.Butland, T.Thie, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, M.Taylor, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, J.Ford, B.Bosley, W.Trollope, L.Appleby, H.Foley, H.Russell, O.Biggin(c). Replacements: T.Statton, J.Lugtig, R.Biggins. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: N.Tucker. Physio: G.Davis. Referee: Craig Pocock (Bristol Society)
Both these games have a lot in common besides the scoreline. They were both away and tryless with Clevedon dominating large periods of each game. They came up against resolute and robust defences. Finished both games strongly, each time going for the winning try and within the five metre zone when the whistle blew. Oh!... and Tucks was on the flag!
The home game last week against Teignmouth showed how clinical Clevedon can be and this is something that coach Hill will be looking at during training this week to ensure a home victory against Bideford.
Apparently, Mr Potts is getting too much attention and a request has been put forward to leave him alone for a while. So, no remarks about this senior citize - for now anyway.
What a game it was on Saturday. First win of the season and well deserved too. May it be the first of many.
Bideford came to the Vale undefeated and probably expected an easier encounter than what ensued. Superb attacking rugby from both sides providing excellent entertainment for us spectators. Still a few missed tackles, but a great improvement. Lots of smiling faces in the Clevedon camp after that performance. Roll on next week at Bridgwater.
Well done to the No Necks that were in attendance this week, but a few were AWOL for this one. Most noticeable was "the one who has a neck, but disguises the fact with his flowing locks". The volume of encouragement for the lads from the touchline was not at its usual level. Let's hope for a better turnout for our visit to Bridgy.
Cobweb Corner were up to their usual boisterous antics. But what happens at the Vale stays at the Vale. After his afternoon nap, Mr T let his hair down as "Babe Ruth" was not in attendance.
One of the Big Cheesies must also get a mention, Trev Alder sporting his Clevedon blazer. First outing for Trev's colours for quite a while. Did the sight of Trev adorned in his best bib and tucker encourage the 1st XV to put in that sterling performance. Essential for Trev to air it again next Saturday at Bridgwater.
It is also rumoured, though not substantiated, that a large balding man with glasses and cauliflower ears bought two, yes two, rounds of drinks on Saturday. Can anyone vouch for this fact? Is there any photographic evidence as none of our usual photographers were present.
A respectable weekend all round!
More Chippy Chirping Chairman news next week.
The previously reported rumour of a Cheese Club member being fond of those slimy, foil wrapped cheese triangles, appears to be just the corner of a giant cheese wedge. There seems to be an epidemic of members 'coming out' and declaring their fondness for this illicit product.
In response, the inner sanctum are contemplating harsh action against this rebellious mob, with the use of a large portion of Stinking Bishop or even an extra large Blue Veiner being considered as correctional action to restore the status quo.
On another note, we shall shortly be entering the Port sampling season. An extended tasting period is planned for this year in an attempt to keep the consumption down to just 2 bottles in a tasting session, rather than the usual 3 or 4. This should afford Cheese Club members a better chance of remembering what the hell they drank the night before and awarding a suitable score to each sampled bottle. Their impeccable taste marks will of course be made available to the general Club membership in time for Christmas purchase.Anyway, away to sunny Bridgewater this weekend, let's hope the boys produce something special. A piece of Gruyere would be nice, pan fried in eggy bread with a maple syrup and pancetta filling!!! Sounds LOVELY.
More Smeggie news next week.
Many a pint was downed after this first win.
The foghorn voice of Cruncher Crane was missing to the glee of the spectators. Also missing was the flashing of Kev Weaver's camera. Novice Peter Bath took over the flashing duties and his results can be found here - judge for yourself.
Peter Hand won the bottle of port, but did not follow standard procedure and share it with Cobweb corner at half time, so he'll ostracised for the rest of the season.
Chairman, Jim Mcveigh left the celebrating throng in a rather distrssed state having to go to a party and unable to have a drink - bad arranging Jim.
We would like to know who the person was that tried to wind in the rope and cocked it up, leaving Colin Davies and Mike Thomas to unravel it with the aid of Geoff Warren the famous Television Match Official. If you could rewind the tape to find out who the rope tangler was Geoff, there's a pint in it for you.
More ramblings next week.
Team: J.Tucker, M.Fisher, B.Williams, C.Maslen, T.Thie, A.Cole, R.Talbot, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, J.Crewe, W.Taylor, H.Foley.
Replacements: G.Carpenter, D.Burns, J.Crichton. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker Ref: Stuart Read
Next week Clevedon firsts are at home to Bideford for a 15:00 kick off, preceded by a lunch at 14:00 The seconds have a free weekend.
Team: H.Butland, T.Thie, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, M.Taylor, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, J.Ford, B.Bosley, T.Statton, W.Trollope, L.Appleby, H.Foley, H.Russell(c). Replacements: C.Maslen, M.Honor, R.Biggins. Coach: N.Hill. Flag: J.Durant. Physio: G.Davis.
After last season's defeat of Clevedon at The Vale, Teignmouth seemed to be in confident mood as they ran out thinking they would again cause an upset, especially after Clevedon's narrow defeat last week.
We travelled down to Teignmouth with a youthful looking side but with some optimism of getting something from this fixture. An early start at 1100 which proved to be prudent with the amount of traffic heading south on the M5. The weather was changeable to say the least. Hopefully, so would our fortunes.
A couple of the travelling support could not contain their excitement of the trip south though.
The pre-match meal was a flavoursome chicken curry provided by our hosts. Unfortunately, even with the offer of free beer, Pottsy could not be convinced to eat any of "that foreign muck" and he settled for a sizable portion of chips. A few dits were swapped with Teignmouth members and so on to the match.
On taking to the field, the Clevedon side looked young and slighter in stature compared to the home side but held their own in the set piece. The scrum went well and we managed to pinch a fair amount of opposition ball at the lineout. Regrettably, our tackling let us down again and the final score of 55 - 24 did not do us justice, but on the plus side, we came away with 4 try bonus point. An improvement on last week, so onwards and upwards.
The boys were in buoyant mood on the trip back, with an impromptu cheese and wine function at the back of the bus, accompanied by a fair amount of crooning from the rear. On return to the Clevedon clubhouse, the Seasiders teams consoled each other as both they both came off second best but nevertheless, an enjoyable evening ensued. Later on in the proceedings we were entertained royally by the forwards Strictly Dance Team.
Keep it up guys and with a smidgeon of luck we may get our first win next week.
To end on a high note the girls under 15s had a good win against our local rivals Nailsea. Good effort girls. Long may it continue.
More Chirping Chairman news next week.
Members enjoyed a quiet start to the new season, with just some of the usual old staples of VINTAGE Cheddar and MATURE Stilton on the board.
These cheesy adjectives aptly describing the average age of most curdled whey club members. However, a new version of a Welsh Rarebit was unveiled on Saturday as Dennet finally decided to get a round in (at the bar, not of cheese!!) though no video or photographic evidence has been forthcoming of that major event!!
On Sunday, the members went all continental and for the first time sampled a Swiss concoction called Vacherin Fribourgeois. This was moderately popular with the members, more than one of whom likened it to "tasting like Dairylea cheese triangles" - No accounting for taste eh?
This leads us on to the whispers from an unnamed source who has revealed that a current Cheese Club member has been dabbling with those foil wrapped, slimy triangular things!! This same source has indicated an internal disciplinary may be on the cards. More may become apparent later in the month.
New members of the cheese club are always welcome, however, there are some quite stringent membership criteria to meet in order to be accepted into the masonic like inner circle.
PLEASE NOTE: Alternatively Stilton may be substituted with Roquefort (if you're brave enough)
Should Fordy wish to become a member all the above criteria are doubled in quantity, unless of course he is on his now famed diet?
We shall soon be moving into Port tasting season, but more Smeggie news soon on that next time.
Well, the trip to Devon did not go well. It was an education going down on the bus to see Pottsy sleeping, what a sight for sore eyes.
When we stopped at Exeter Services we waited to see what he would buy to eat as he is renowned for his eating habits. He did not disappoint with a several "go Large" items in his carrier bag.
On arrival at Teignmouth, we were told that there was food for us. Pottsy's face lit up, but when he found out that it was curry he said "I don't like that", so that was a first.
The game was disappointing for the few supporters that turned up, but we made the most of it and Cruncher said if it rained we were welcome to sit in his camper van. What a nice man.
The day was over and we drank and relaxed in the club with Pottsy buying his round.Well done the four of us who turned up on the coach and well done to those that travelled independently to watch their team..
Team: J.Tucker, M.Winter, B.Williams, C.Maslen,T.Thie, A.Cole, J.Williams, B.Largenton, M.Honour9c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, J.Ford, H.Foley, H.Russell.
Replacements: A.Jones, J.Crewe, M.Fisher. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Physio: G.Davis Flag: N.Tucker Ref: Craig Pocock
Putting these pages together involves a bit of cutting and pasting and then making minor adjustments to achieve the end result.
The usual things like date, opponent and scoreline are simples. The team usually need one or two changes and they would be copied from a stock list of players - easy.
However, this season wholesale changes to the list were needed. Two players from last season went on to higher things - Harry Butland went to Clifton and Kieran Hill went to Taunton. One player went back to his old club up the valley and five retired.
On the plus side though there are three new, very young players were added and the resulting team on Saturday was good old blend of youth and experience, from Captain and hooker Matt Honour (39) to fly half Adam Cole (17).
The whole team played and compteted well, but will need a little time together to get know each others foibles and habits before heading up the league again.
An interesting few weeks lie ahead for the watching supporters, that's for sure.
Next week Clevedon firsts are away to Teignmouth for a 15:00 kick off. The coach leaves at 11:00. The seconds are at home to Crewkerne for a 15:00 kick off.
Team: H.Butland, B.Williams, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, M.Taylor, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, J.Ford, B.Bosley, W.Trollope, L.Appleby, H.Russell, O.Biggins(c), C.Maslen. Replacements: J.Puddy, W.Taylor, N.George. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: N.Tucker. Physio: G.Davis.
A losing bonus point on the road was scant consolation for a game that Clevedon had a decent chance of winning. With all the possession they had and six nil up after 20 minutes Clevedon were in the driving seat. However, a penalty from half way, into the wind, from Okehampton soon afterwards kept them in touch with Clevedon. A half time score of 6-9 playing with the elements told the tale for Clevedon - not enough points on the board to defend with.
Well here we are again.
Another season begins and the members of Cobweb Corner are still alive and kicking. It's a bit debateable with Pottsy though, because he looks like death warmed up at the best of times and even manages to make his Uncle Fester look handsome. He's still here to tell the tale and probably the ones he told last year.
The blazer boys are back in town, with chairman Jim leading the way in his trendy baggy shorts and showing a fine hairy leg.
Watching the first game of the season was frustrating at times and the old tickers were being stressed to the limit.
Uncle Colin, having won the bottle of port passed it around, but did not offer any to an aging welshman. He has vowed to sort it out in the playground next week.
This week we are off to the seaside on the bus for a nice trip to Teignmouth. We're hoping watch to the game, but it depends on the pre-match activities.
More gossipy news next week.
A quick update on recent events from the Cheese Club. Behind the scenes, they have been quietly munching their way through a variety of high fat delicacies during the off season.
This was to ensure they are fully prepared and that cholesterol levels are at a peak for what promises to be a challenging season both on the field and on the cheeseboard.
During the off season and in an effort to get fit for the challenges of season ahead, these stalwarts of the club put life and limb on the line to take on some of the finest "skittlers" in town in the Clevedon RFC Summer Skittles League. Under the guise of "The Cheeselets" they ventured onto the hallowed boards of the clubs skittle alley to face all comers.
Expectations were high for an opening game win. However, crushing defeats in the first two games soon had their morale at a low ebb.
This was not helped by opposition skittlers referring to them as "The Quavers!!"
How anybody could mistake these fine gentlemen for them cheesy puffs just beggars belief!!!
This name calling and barracking seemed to be widespread among the teams, but under the dynamic and inspirational leadership of their Captain, Martin 'Smoggie' Boldison, the team rose Phoenix like from the ashes of defeat to push up the table and press hard for the title. Eventually though only achieving a mid-table finish in this their first season.
The team are determined to return next year and the opposition should BE AFRAID!!
More Smeggie news soon.
A promising start from a very young inexperienced Clevedon 1st XV. We were in with a shout for most the game but faded in the last quarter. Encouraging to watch non-the less. Rumour has it that the old stager 'Stoner' is going to start training in earnest and try to break his way into the 1st team. Roll on next week for the visit to Teignmouth. Hopefully, good weather, so Hilly can leave his wellies in the under stairs cupboard. Make sure you don't miss the bus at 1100.
Unfortunately, the 2nd XV could not field a front row last week. Less said the better. Hopefully with a home fixture against Crewkerne and the end of the holiday period we should be able to field a strong team.The 3rds first fixture is the end of the month, bar takings will improve no doubt.
On the subject of bar profits, the newly formed Ladies XVs joined the Big Cheeses on Sunday in the bar after their first games. They took part in the Festival in Yeovil and came away with a loss and a win in their 2 games. Traditions were upheld with Lady of the Match and the inaugural first try for the team toasting each other. Well done Ladies.
All being well, we will have a good turnout by all teams this week for training.
Remember the old motto of "Failing to prepare is preparing to fail".
Click or tap the poster to download the form.
Many thanks, Jim McVeigh
The League season begin today against Okehampton with a 15:00 kick off. The luncheon begins at 14:00 for the Vice President's and their guests.
Time to get forget the glorious summer.
Veteran Matt Honour is Clevedon's 1st XV Captain for the coming season. He brings a huge amount of experience to a Clevedon team that are mostly half his age. After nearly retiring a couple of season's ago, he found a new lease of life to continue playing. Maybe it was the invitation to join The No Necks that persuaded him to continue, after all they are a motley bunch of striped jacketed bores.
Good decision Matt!
Please note that the Annual General Meeting of Clevedon RFC will take place at the clubhouse on Monday, 17th July 2017 at 20:00.
All paid up members are welcome. Please find the agenda within the document section under the information tab on the home page in general documents.
You'll have to log in as a member to see it.
Many thanks, Neil Tucker
Training began on Tuesday, 4th July at 19:00 and continues tonight and every Tuesday and Thursday from now on.
Get yourself down there and get super fit before the first game. New players are always welcome and should contain Nick Hill when arriving. See you there!
Please Note: These hours may vary if and when functions take place.
The website archives are currently being researched and assembled. They will be available soonish.Archives