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Okehampton 46 Clevedon 7

21st April 2018

"Rain stopped play"

Crunch: Captain Matt Honour's fancy dress...Crunch's photos are here and Weave's are here.

Visit the Tribute South West One results here.

Chairman's Chirps

17th April 2018

"Thunder and Lightning"

Final game of the season for our 1st XV which again ended in a 46-7 defeat to Okehampton. Arrived at sunny Okehampton after travelling through some rain which was quite heavy at times. There were some concerns that the game may be called off due to a seriously rutted pitch. The two captains wanted to play the game but the referee had his reservations. So, after a session of group tapdancing in the more severely affected areas, the referee agreed the pitch was playable.

Groundhog Day again for us with plenty of possession and territorial advantage but failed to turn it into points. I felt our scrum was dominant but the ref seemed to think illegally so. That final pass and turnover ball coupled with some poor tackling allowed Oke to build a score which we were never going to catch. Credit to the lads though, their character showed through and they never gave up. The ref called the game to an early close after a torrential downpour accompanied by thunder and lightning.

Spirits were not dampened however, as the lads donned beachwear and blew up inflatables to have a few apres season wets. One player, who shall remain nameless, even started pre-season early by jogging the last mile or so back to the clubhouse.

Credit must go to the players that have stuck it out, turned up week after week, trained and travelled all season. They deserve a huge pat on the back for their efforts and their loyalty to the club. So well done guys, have a well-deserved rest over the summer and come back next year refreshed, ready to go and help make our visit to Western Counties as brief as possible.

What an achievement for our U15s. Winning the U15 Somerset Cup by beating Bath University at the Wreck. A fantastic performance and experience for these young men. I hear, all who attended were treated to an entertaining good hard game of rugby with our lads coming out on top after an even tough contest.

Well done Matt Harris and his charges.

This outstanding achievement is testament that the mini and junior sections are still the lifeblood of Clevedon RFC.

Yours Aye, Jim

Chairman's Chirps

17th April 2018

"What a difference a win makes"

It was Sponsors, Life Members and VP's this week, on our last home game against North Petherton. During the week it looked increasingly like we would have to play up at the school due to the rain-soaked pitches. Not ideal and amazingly we managed to get the game on at the Vale.

A good turnout for our lunch and a fine buffet was put on to set us up for the day. No pressure on today as we are already resigned to our hopefully short visit to Western Counties North next season. On completion of the lunch, wellies and boots were the order of the day, but the sun came out making it a warm, balmy spring afternoon.

The coaching team had to make a few changes in the team due to players being unavailable with Pottsy and Rory Biggins making starts and both showing their experience and having a lot of influence on the game. On a very heavy pitch we witnessed a very entertaining game between two sides determined to play some good rugby an a very difficult surface.

Both sides had purple patches during the game with Clevedon going into the lead, but North Petherton fighting back and threatening to overcome a hard-worked for lead. Our defence was much improved with Rory Biggins tackling everything that moved, which inspired the rest of the team to replicate his efforts. A great defensive performance by all. We did manage to pull away in the latter stages of the game with good tries from Joey Tucker sniping from forward drives on the Pethy line.

A fair few retired to the bar to have several celebratory wets after this splendid win over a good side sitting 5th in the league. Good to see smiling faces around the clubhouse and long may it continue.

The storm may be long but the sun will always break through.

Yours Aye, Jim

Clevedon 29 North Petherton 14

13th April 2018

"Clevedon's third win!"

Weave: Last home game hooking for Captain Matt Honour...Against all the odds Clevedon secured their third win of the season against fifth placed North Petherton, which was a continuation of their recent good form against Bath Uni.

The last game of the season is away to Okehampton for a 15:00 kick-off. The coach will be leaving at 11:00 for those of you who fancy a day out in North Devon.

Dinner Dance & Presentation

27th April 2018, 19:00 'til late

Dinner Dance & Presentation 2018This event is open to all - players, members, supporters, wives, girlfriends, husbands, boyfriends and partners.

The venue is The Walton Park Hotel and the tickets cost £30 per person for a three course meal and a disco, where I will be dancing like my old self, but with my new hip!

Tickets will go on sale on the 3rd March from 12 noon and will be issued from the bar and cannot be reserved!

Search out your suits and frocks and make this a night to remember.

Your Honourable Secretary, Tucks

Clevedon 29 Bath University 43

10th April 2018

"Five tries for Clevedon"

Crunch: Brian Largenton scores Clevedpn's opener...The photos from last night's entertaining game have been posted. Click, touch or tap the photo of Brian Largenton scoring Clevedon's opening try to lead 7-0 after fourteen minutes.

Clevedon scored five tries in this very entertaining match. It was a case of the dominant Clevedon forwards against the rabbit-like Uni backs. Needless to say that the hares came out on top due some inexplicable denial of at least threes tries for Clevedon's forwards and a couple of dubious ones for the students.

This is not intended as a criticsim of the three officials, although I suppose it will be interpreted as such, but they were too slow for the pace of this game on the 4G Hornets pitch. That said, the game was a lively one that was due in part to the free-flowing style that the officials allowed.

This result for Clevedon was expected by many, but those that were there could see that this relegated Clevedon team will do well in the league below. With only two games left, Clevedon will be able to experiment and plan for next season, which is a bonus.

On Saturday, they will be playing in their last home game of the season against North Petherton, kick off is at 15:00. This will be preceded by the Sponsors, Life Members and Vice Presidents day at 13:00.

Newent 59 Clevedon 12

7th April 2018

"No travelling photographer"

Weave: Rhys Talbot gets the ball away...This photo is from the home game earlier in the season. There was no travelling photographer this week - apologies.

Next week, Clevedon are playing twice.

The first game is a Somerset Cup semi-final against Bath University on Tuesday, 10th April at Hornets RFC. Kick off will be at 19:30. Get on down there and support the lads.

On Saturday, they will be playing in their last home game of the season against North Petherton, kick off is at 15:00. This will be preceded by the Sponsors, Life Members and Vice Presidents day at 13:00.

Chairman's Chirps

24th March 2018

"A mixture of experience and youth"

Another game that we should have won. Not a high scoring first half but entertaining nonetheless. A good team effort all round with much improved tackling and commitment from both forwards and backs resulting in a better performance defensively. We spent much of the second half camped in the Matson 22, but only came away with 3 points for our exertions. Even then, when we went in front, I felt we would go on to win this one. Whereas Matson broke away and scored against the run of play. Lady luck was not on our side but, we are, where we are for good reason.

Two of our "vets", former captain John Potts and front row cohort Stoner made appearances from the bench along with first team debutant Rory McGuigan and all made an impact when introduced.

This week's mixture of experience and youth made for good expectations for next season if the coaching team and players can keep up the same level of performance and commitment displayed against Matson.

Good to see players from both the 1st and 3rd XV's helping out with forking and prepping the pitch to get it to a playable condition. Well done guys.

The 3rds and Ladies also suffered narrow defeats, but morale and spirit still remain high with all our teams and indeed the club as a whole. The bar was pretty busy and even the caulie-eared, tall bloke with glasses, depositing some of his treasured shekels into the till this week. The choice between a beer and a kebab on the way home causes much anxiety early on Saturday evenings!

Some are trying and failing, to wean Mr T off the mother's ruin without too much success. Has this season drove him to such drastic measures? Cobweb Corner is not the same.

Come along and hopefully witness our third win against Keynsham next Saturday...

Again, we should have beaten them at their place but was not to be.

Clevedon 12 Matson 17

24th March 2018

"A near miss"

Team: J.Tucker, C.Maslen, A.Coles, R.Talbot, T.Thie, A.Vailes, B Largenton, J.Crew, B.Bosley, O.Jones, W.Trollope, C.Tucker, W.Taylor, H.Foley.
Replacements: R.McGuigan, B.Stone, J.Potts, . Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: A.N. Other

Weave: Adam Coles scores Clevedon's opener...

Next week Clevedon are at home to Keynsham, kick off 14:30. The lunch will be at 13:30.

Chairman's Chirps

24th March 2018

"A mixture of experience and youth"

Another game that we should have won. Not a high scoring first half but entertaining nonetheless. A good team effort all round with much improved tackling and commitment from both forwards and backs resulting in a better performance defensively. We spent much of the second half camped in the Matson 22, but only came away with 3 points for our exertions. Even then, when we went in front, I felt we would go on to win this one. Whereas Matson broke away and scored against the run of play. Lady luck was not on our side but, we are, where we are for good reason.

Two of our "vets", former captain John Potts and front row cohort Stoner made appearances from the bench along with first team debutant Rory McGuigan and all made an impact when introduced.

This week's mixture of experience and youth made for good expectations for next season if the coaching team and players can keep up the same level of performance and commitment displayed against Matson.

Good to see players from both the 1st and 3rd XV's helping out with forking and prepping the pitch to get it to a playable condition. Well done guys.

The 3rds and Ladies also suffered narrow defeats, but morale and spirit still remain high with all our teams and indeed the club as a whole. The bar was pretty busy and even the caulie-eared, tall bloke with glasses, depositing some of his treasured shekels into the till this week. The choice between a beer and a kebab on the way home causes much anxiety early on Saturday evenings!

Some are trying and failing, to wean Mr T off the mother's ruin without too much success. Has this season drove him to such drastic measures? Cobweb Corner is not the same.

Come along and hopefully witness our third win against Keynsham next Saturday...

Again, we should have beaten them at their place but was not to be.

Six Nations Competitions 2018
Round 5 Results

18th March 2018, 16:29

"Two with Fifteen"

Six Nations 2018 Round 4 resultsWell that's it for 2018.

The top six places went to Dave Webster, Pete Williams, Mike Thomas, Alec Bellamy, Ivor Tingle and John Murray. Congratulations to you all, your prizes will be with you shortly.

Thanks to everyone who entered this annual club fund-raiser, which has provided a bit of fun and distraction from Clevedon's woes this season.

It has also provided the local psychiatrists with a windfall for treating many people for "Post English Expectation Disorder Or Finishing Fifth" this year, commonly known as PEEDOFF.

More next year, thanks.

Womens Six Nations 2018 Round 5 resultsThis inaugural competition had only 22 entries, but that doesn't matter.

The 6 winners for this are Fiona Holland, James Barzo, Lou Hand, Martin Boldison, Caroline Reuben and Mike Thomas. The prizes are on their way to you. Thanks for entering you pioneering 22!

Six Nations 2018 entry closed...Visit the SIx Nations website.

Clevedon 0 Teignmouth 58

17th March 2018

"Honourable Captain Honour"

Team: T.Phillips, R.Hervey, C.Tucker, C.Maslen, D.Burns, A.Coles, T.Thie, B Largenton, M.Honour, B.Bosley, O.Jones, W.Trollope, J.Crew, W.Taylor, H.Foley.
Replacements: T.Williams, D.Williams, J.Hervey. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: A.N. Other

Weave: Captain Matt Honour leads from the front...

Captain Matt Honour, as he has done all season, leads from the front as usual. He has done a sterling job in adversity and deserves all the credit for keeping his enthusiasm going throughout this tough season.

It can't have been easy for him each week having to introduce himself to players he didn't know. I reckon Clevedon 1st XV have fielded nearly 50 different players this season already, which doesn't need a genius to work why the results were so inconsistent to say the least. A plethora of retirements didn't help at the start of the season either.

Couple that with the injuries, hair washing days, shopping, holidays and can't be bothered excuses and you can see why the writing was on the wall from the start. Captain Honour deserves the Grafters Cup this season for his beligerent and combative attitude this season and for not giving up despite the odds being stacked against him.

Good on yer Matt!

Next week Clevedon are at home to Matson, kick off 14:30 - a battle of the bottom two! The lunch will be at 13:30.

Six Nations Dinner

16th March 2018

"Well done Dave & Di"

Six Nations Dinner ready to kick offNinety people attended this dinner and a great success it was to.

Proud Scotsman Dave Alexander, affectionately as "English Dave" until this season and his wife Di organised this event superbly. There were six courses, one from each of the Six Nations countries.

The guest speaker was Scottish international and British Lion Craig Chalmers who spoke eloquently about his life as a globe trotting rugby international. A few jokes, a few digs at the locals rounded off a great evening for everyone involved.

Have a look at this clip of Dave addressing the haggis.

This event proved very popular I'm sure it will be repeated next year.

Well done Dave & Di.

Clevedon's League History

"Longest serving in the SW1W league"

Clevedon have been in this league for the past 12 seasons and before that were in the old SW1, which is the equivalent of today's South West Premier.

Knowing this fact is a nice bit of nostalgia, but does not help alleviate the frustration and annoyance of being relegated after all that time.

Perhaps next season will see a regeneration of club loyalty and committment. Western Counties North looks like an unforgiving league and Clevedon will need to redouble their efforts if they are to gain promotion next season.

Nick Hill and his coaching team have shown they are committed and loyal already this season, but need to conjure up some sort of miracle next season to avoid any further slippage down the leagues.

"Some hard facts for you"

I reckon this defeat by Teignmouth has finally doomed Clevedon to relegation with five matches remaining.

If you dispute this then these facts speak for themselves:

  • There are 5 games left to play with a maximum 25 points available
  • Clevedon are 25 points away from safety and need five bonus point wins and other results to go their way
  • If this was achieved, then Clevedon need to accumulate at least 348 points difference
  • Put simply, Clevedon would need to win all 5 games by a margin of 70 points or more
  • Visit the RFU page here to see for yourself

Launceston 49 Clevedon 12

10th March 2018

"Why don't we play two second halves?"

Team: T.Phillips, R.Hervey, C.Tucker, C.Maslen, D.Burns, A.Coles, T.Thie, B Largenton, M.Honour, B.Bosley, O.Jones, W.Trollope, J.Crew, W.Taylor, H.Foley.
Replacements: T.Williams, D.Williams, J.Hervey. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: A.N. Other

Weave: Glad to see the back of this lot! There are no photos this week, so this is a chance see pictures from the narrow 19-21 loss earlier in the season.

Next week, Clevedon are at home to Teignmouth in a rearranged game. The kick off is at 14:30 preceded by the usual lunch.

If you were one of those "go behind the sofa" people when watching Doctor Who, then the equivalent would be to watch Clevedon battle Teignmouth outside, rather than watch England unfurl against Ireland inside the clubhouse. Come on and give the lads a shout, it's still mathematically possible to avoid the drop.

Chairman's Chirps

After the longest commute of this season, down to deepest, darkest Launceston, Cornwall (well just over the Devon border), we suffered another defeat. However, no-one was too despondent after a better second half performance. Going in at half-time 42-5 down, it looked pretty ominous. Fair play to the guys that travelled, which included 2 first team debutants James Hervey and Tom Williams (not of Bloodgate infamy) that dug in for the 2nd half, which we drew 7-7 for a final score of 49-12.

James was unlucky not to score on his first team outing as he caught a re-start out on the left wing and looked to be racing to the tryline only to be pulled back for the ball not going 10 metres. I could see from my position 50 yards away and with steamed up bins that it was clearly beyond 10 metres. No justice.

We were treated to a circuitous excursion around Devon after the gyro went askew and after stopping at Tesco's for the guys to purchase their preferred imbibement for the long journey home.

Terry 'arris seemed to revert to his childhood and initially directed the driver towards his hometown of Plymouth, eventually realising the mistake and we returned to Clevedon via Tavistock and Dartmoor. Thanks for the tour, Terry and Ian (not Drives).

It looks like we did not miss a lot by forgoing watching the England game.

As an aside, the caulie-eared tall bloke is definitely putting in a concerted effort to oust the cashless one at the top of the league table for not buying drinks. He achieved his mission again this week by not dipping in his pockets. Has he no shame?

There's a Six Nations Dinner on Friday, followed by Teignmouth at the Vale on Saturday. Please come and support the lads.

Six Nations Competitions 2018
Round 4 Results

12th March 2018, 11:47

"Two with Twelve"

Six Nations 2018 Round 4 resultsOnly two people with the maximum number wins. The Tallest Man in the World is riding high at the top, followed by Pete "Big Nose" Williams. It'll come down to points difference if both of their selections are correct. If not, there are thirteen other people with eleven wins who yet sneak the win. Look what happened last year when Ivor Tingle leap-frogged his way to second and fourth.

WHO will win it next week?????

Womens Six Nations 2018 Round 43 resultsLucky old Neil Hutton is now in second place, sandwiched between Caroline Reuben and Fiona Holland with nine wins each. They are joined by three other people with only the points difference separating them all.

If you have any queries, please notify the usual suspects if you feel your entry is incorrect!

Six Nations 2018 entry closed...Visit the SIx Nations website.

Cheesy News - Not

Big Chief Smoggie Smeghead has gone walkabout. In his absence the remaining members are still scoffing their way through pounds of the stuff. However, not one of them has the wherewithal, nor the wit and repartee to put pen to paper for our amusement.

May their prepuces fester and canker until they do.

Good News
Bad News

2nd March 2018

No games at the Vale this weekendThe good news is that the clubhouse will be open for a drink and a good old gossip about the weather and other subjects not normally discussed.

Subjects like Brexit, Trump, the alleged BBC bias or even whether the Spice Girls will sing at the royal wedding. Whatever you talk about, it should be lively and with enough finger jabbing to keep your temperature up in this chilly weather.


The bad news is that there are no games at the Vale this weekend due to that beast from the east and storm Emma dumping white stuff on the pitches. No forking or seagull help needed this week.

Dinner Dance & Presentation

27th April 2018, 19:00 'til late

Dinner Dance & Presentation 2018This event is open to all - players, members, supporters, wives, girlfriends, husbands, boyfriends and partners.

The venue is The Walton Park Hotel and the tickets cost £30 per person for a three course meal and a disco, where I will be dancing like my old self, but with my new hip!

Tickets will go on sale on the 3rd March from 12 noon and will be issued from the bar and cannot be reserved!

Search out your suits and frocks and make this a night to remember.

Your Honourable Secretary, Tucks

Chairman's Chirps

24th February 2018

"Bad week all round"

A bad week all round this one, so this will be short and sweet.

The only smiles around the place are Celtic and deservedly so. English Dave has now reverted to his original porridge loving heritage and become Scottish Dave once again. Well done the Jocks mind, they were true to their words and sent us homeward to think again.

If Cullompton must be alluded to, it will only be to mention the excellent lunch put on by our hosts and the racing tips afforded to our President by the Cully Chairman. No doubt they went well down too. Congratulations to Cully for causing a very quiet car on the return journey to Clevedon.

Yet another week where the Caulie-eared one evaded buying a round. He had a better excuse this week though, "On antibiotics" and got out of the car before the clubhouse. I'm looking forward with anticipation for his recovery and opening that constricted wallet of his when we play Keynsham next week. Get well soon Richard!.

There's a Six Nations break so come along and support the lads.

Yours Aye, Jim

Cullompton 78 Clevedon 0

24th February 2018

"A plethora of defensive lapses"

Team: D.Williams, M.Jordan, A.Coles, C.Maslen, T.Philips, T.Thie(c), R.Talbot, B.Largenton, J.Crew, B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, C.Tucker, H.Foley, W.Taylor.
Replacements: R.Hervey, O.Wilson, B.Manners. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: A.N.Other

Weave: Jack Crew goes close...

When this game was postponed a month ago, the Cullompton pitch was a quagmire by all accounts.

It has certainly recovered if the first bounce was anything to go by. A huge kick up field from a stolen Clevedon 5 metre lineout, saw the ball land and bounce back 10 metres towards the onrushing Cullompton chasers. A few phases laterand they were over for 7-0 lead after five minutes. Seven minutes later Cullompton were 14-0 up after another kick upfield.

For the next 25 minutes Clevedon were camped inside the Cullompton 22, but there attacks were repelled by stout and determined defence. Clevedon's big boys were easily stopped as they were looking to go to ground sooner than they should've done.

The departure of Charlie Tucker near the end of this tryline onslaught disrupted Clevedon's momentum and eventually Cullompton forced a mistake and scored a try from deep to lead 19-0 at half time.

The few Clevedon supporters that travelled were a bit downbeat, but hopeful of a turn around in fortunes, especially as their team were playing with the strong icy wind at their backs.

Unfortunately, three minutes after the restart Clevedon were 24-0 down and that as they say was that. There was no way back for a Clevedon side who had to make several positional changes after a couple of injuries, eventually succombing to an embarassing 78-0 loss.

No matter how you spin it and after a competitive first half, Clevedon had a plethora of defensive lapses and a dearth of attacking options in the second, which was clearly as a result of a lack of confidence within the team after the enforced changes.

With seven games to go and eighteen points adrift from safety, it will soon be mathematically impossible for Clevedon to avoid the drop. It's not over 'til end though - never say never, the pint is half full and pigs might fly are some the idioms that come to mind!

Come down to The Vale on Saturday for the visit of Keynsham, kick off 14:30. There will be the usual lunch and the usual draw and the usual programme selling preceding the game. Please make every effort to watch.

Six Nations Competitions 2018
Round 3 Results

25th February 2018, 12.36

"Eight with nine"

Please click, tap, stroke or use the appropriate gesture for your device on the either of the images above to reveal the exciting results spreadsheet of your choice.

Six Nations 2018 Round 3 resultsA very good weekend of rugby for the Irish and Scottish contingent in the club. Unfortunately for our English chairman, the pillow talk with his Scottish wife wouldn't have been the same as the previous ten years. Did the separate bedroom come into play or were they as lovey dovey as they always are?

Perhaps there should be a new reality show called Six Nations Relations that would follow the lives of couples such as Jim and Edie throughout the competition. What a hootenanny that would be!

Womens Six Nations 2018 Round 3 resultsAt the risk of sounding sexist, mysoginistic and downright crude, Neil Hutton is still on top of the Women's Six Nations competition and will take some shifting.

With this afternoon's game between Ireland and Wales still to play, will he still be? Check back later on this evening.

Yes, he is still top and one of four people on the maximum of 9 wins.

If you have any queries, please notify the usual suspects if you feel your entry is incorrect!

Visit the SIx Nations website.Six Nations 2018 entry closed...

Exeter University 66 Clevedon 19

10th February 2018

"A bit ready reckoning"

Team: J.Williams, D.Burns, A.Coles, C.Maslen, T.Phillips, T.Thie, A.Vailes, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Foley, R.Hervey, W.Taylor.
Replacements: A.Jones, D.Williams, J.Crew. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: J.Durant

Weave: Danny Williams scores Clevedon's third try...

The text I got from Weave at half time said "If the score continues like this, we'll lose 94 nil". A bit ready reckoning and I deduced that Clevedon were 47 nil down. "Oh dear, how frightful" I texted back.

The next text was more heartening when Weave revealed that we had only lost 66-19. A bit more ready reckoning and I further deduced that we had drawn the second half 19 each. A remarkable come back for Clevedon given the nightmare first half.

With eight games remaining, it is still possible for Clevedon to avoid the drop, but must beat Cullompton away on Saturday, 14:15 kick off, to begin the rise up the table.{;>).

The coach will leave at 12:30 from the clubhouse.

Six Nations Competitions 2018 Round 2 Results

13th February 2018, 10:05

"Who's leading now?"

Six Nations 2018 entry closed...Please look at the Six Nations competitions website for confirmation of the results.

Please click, tap, stroke or use the appropriate gesture for your device on the either of the images above to reveal the exciting results spreadsheet of your choice.

Six Nations 2018 Round 2 resultsLawrence HoleAfter two rounds, there are still 47 people with the maximum of six wins, but a further 114 on five wins. It ain't until Pottsy has cleared the buffet

Lawrence Hole, who is currently in the number one spot due to a quirk of the ordering rules (Wins, Tie break difference and Name) will not be after the third round has been completed as he only has 34 points left. His entry has been checked as you can verify yourselves.

Womens Six Nations 2018 Round 2 resultsNeil Hutton is at the top of the Women's Six Nations competition, leading the seven people on the maximum of 6 wins. Nine people are 5 wins, so this one is still wide open with nine games to go.

If you have any queries, please notify the usual suspects if you feel your entry is incorrect!

Visit the SIx Nations website HERE.

Chairman's Chirps

10th February 2018

"The seagulls failed"

Not a lot to squeak about this week with no games at the Vale due to the inclement weather and water on the pitches. The seagulls failed in their mission this week.

The game against Teignmouth is to be re-arranged for the only free Saturday left, which is March 17th, the final day of the Six Nations. Not ideal, but hoping for a favourable kick off time.

The Ladies did have a game on Sunday, but went down to an experienced Yeovil side. Not sure of the final score ,but it must have been a tough game in the wet conditions. The look of the walking wounded that came back to the Club on completion confirmed it was a demanding one. Spirit and drive still in abundance girls, keep it up.

Next week, the 1st XV are away to league leaders Exeter University, a tough one but look what we did to Drybrook! Third team home to Broadplain, so if you can't make Exeter, our 3rd XV always provide a good entertaining game of rugby.

There's a Six Nations break so come along and support the lads.

Yours Aye, Jim

Clevedon 7 Drybrook 5

3rd February 2018

"No forking this week"

Team: J.Tucker, D.Burns, A.Coles, C.Maslen, T.Willis, T.Thie, A.Vailes, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), G.Carpenter, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Foley, C.Tucker, H.Russell.
Replacements: O.Biggins, W.Taylor, R.Hervey. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: J.Durant

Weave: The winning try...

The seagulls had done a proper job this time and drunk all the water from the puddles, leaving the usual Clevedon pudding behind.

If this were a cricket match , someone would've said that the pitch had been doctored to suit Clevedon's rampaging rhinos. Of course, this can't be true because they're all gazelles on the suddenly very popular vegan diet or is that the vegno diet, I can never be sure.

Arriving late as usual (only 50 minutes this time) and trying predict the score before he arrived, the Travelling Wilbury was completely wrong. He had predicted that Clevedon would be 6-28 down, which wouldn't have been a bad scoreline against second in the table, Drybrook.

When he saw the scoreboard, he nearly fainted. It was 7-0 to Clevedon!!

For the final thirty minutes, it was torture for him. Those that had been there from the start said "The first half was better, we shoved them all over the place", which didn't help.

Ten minutes from time, Drybrook scored an unconverted try and his sphincter was working overtime. It was apoplectic come the final seconds of the game when Drybrook had a kickable penalty, slightly right of the sticks, to win the game.

Urgent nose rubbing ensured the kick drifted left, across the face of the posts, to be greeted with the final whistle. Cue mayhem. Players, supporters and the old windy types were whooping and hollering for all they were worth. It didn't end there though.

The clubhouse was rammed with Six Nations watchers, the Colts and their opposition, both first teams and their entourages and of course those digestive loving chaps from Cobweb Corner.

The France Ireland match was starting and the old boys pulled out their blue badges and commandeered a table to watch the drama unfold. Not really taking an interest after the momentous win for Clevedon, they chatted amongst themselves boasting about their Six Nations predictions.

Let us just say that the likely result was turned on it's head in that last 40 phase, luck of the Irish, drop goal win for them. Cue mayhem again from those Irish in the crowd and silent weeping from Clevedon's Bryan largenton, our lovely French prop.

What a day and it hadn't finished yet.

Ashley Vailes, Clevedon's hirsute scrum half was doing a charity waxing. He was offering sponsors a chance to nominate a hairy part of his body that they would like to see depilated.

The more people drank, the more perverse the part they chose. The final ignomy for him was the offer of £50 for the public area, which of course he couldn't refuse.

Squeals, yelps and a series of whimpers ended his ordeal that had raised £500 for his chosen cancer charity. Well done Ash you piebald person! Photos please??

Read the honest Drybrook report here.

Next week, Clevedon are at home to Teignmouth for a 14:15 kick off.

Chairman's Chirps

3rd february 2018

"What a difference a win makes"

What a morale booster that was! The score line, 7-5, does not suggest an exciting game but it kept all that were watching, on tenterhooks right to the end. A good shift put in by both forwards and backs defensively, resulting in a backs to the wall victory. Again, a game of two halves, first half, our pack pushed them all over the Vale gaining a plethora of penalties. At the turnaround Drybrook were in the referee's favour and we gave away far too many penalties, letting them control proceedings. We could all have suffered totally different emotions if Drybrook had put over the last penalty with the final kick of the game.

At last, a bit of luck goes our way. It does not change our league position but certainly gives everyone a much-needed confidence boost. Good to see Tucks on the side line again supporting the boys. Bring him along next week Vicky, he may be our good luck charm! All wish you a speedy recovery Mr Honourable Secretary.

Same again next week guys with Teignmouth our visitors.

When enough is enough, that's when you know that you're halfway there.

A busy afternoon/evening ensued in the bar with the Colts also at home this week, going down to our neighbours Nailsea and Backwell. Joined later by our 3rds who also suffered defeat to the league leaders Barton Hill 2nds.

A good crowd also enjoyed the start of the 6 Nations and on completion, seeing our veteran scrum-half, Ashley Vailes go through the pain barrier in aid of cancer charity. Well done Ash and Ashley's pater for giving up their body and facial hair in aid of a good cause. Even Ashley's kids seemed to revel in the sight and sound of him in pain. Not sure how much was raised, but a good few quid looking at the queue to inflict agony on the poor chap.

So, on the whole a good week end for the bar,which was aided and abetted by the graft and labours of our "lovely grumpy bar steward" and his hard-pressed team, ably assisted by our Treasurer, Amy. She did not look out of place pulling pints and obviously has some previous experience.

Yours Aye, Jim

Six Nations Competitions 2018 Round 1 Results

5th February 2018, 17:47

"Was the wait worth it for you?"

Six Nations 2018 Round 1 resultsThere are 87 people who have successfully predicted the results of the round 1 matches - Is you name one of them? Analyse the spreadsheet to see if were denied 3 from 3 by that long range drop goal and then curse the luck of the Irish!!

Womens Six Nations 2018 Round 1 resultsThis will a nice initimate affair with only 22 people opting to enter this competition, which is evenly spread between the sexes. 9 people have three correct predictions, 9 have two and 4 have one. All to play for then!

Please click, tap, stroke or use the appropriate gesture for your device on the either of the images above to reveal the exciting results spreadsheet of your choice.

If you have any queries, please notify the usual suspects if you feel your entry is incorrect!

Six Nations Competitions 2018 - Update

5th February 2018, 09:30

"A huge retype underway"

Six Nations 2018 entry closed...Please check back later on this evening for the fully published results of the first round of both Six Nations competitions.

Our apologies for the tardiness of the results, but there's been a bit of backlash concerning some of the names entered on the sheets. A few snowballs have whinged that they're a bit disrespectful to our fellow man and demeaning for all concerned. For example, names like Mad Jock, Taffy Thomas, Paddy John, English Dave and Frenchie Bryan have all failed the test. A huge retype is currently under way.

Apologies...Once again, please accept our apologies.

Yours, Slaphead Weave & Bugeyed Crunch

The Shining Wit's Forum Week 19

Chairman's Chirps

31st January 2018

"Four Colts excelled"

A short one this week as games being called off due to waterlogged pitches. The first team away at Cullompton was called off pretty early on Saturday morning, but the decision was expected to be honest.

The Vale resembled carp lakes as opposed to playing fields last week. However, the 3rds played a robust Avonmouth II side at the school and the fair few that braved the elements were treated to a good challenging game of rugby, albeit in difficult conditions. Clevedon running out winners 26 - 14. A special note must go to the four colts who made their debuts, excelled and did not look out of place playing in a senior side. BZ lads, enjoyed watching you and the rest of Barzo's Boys.

A good afternoon ensued in the bar considering the game was played at the school with both sides returning to the Vale and sharing a beer or two.

Six Nations 2018 entry form...We're hoping for better weather this week and the visit of Drybrook. A bit of dry weather and a stiff breeze should see us through hopefully.

If all else fails, we have the Six Nations to fall back on - please enter the competition now, if you haven't already done so.

Yours Aye, Jim

Thornbury 66 Clevedon 12

20th January 2018

"Don't arrive late"

Team: T.Willis, J.Williams, A.Coles, C.Maslen, M.Fisher, T.Thie, R.Talbot, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, W.Taylor, C.Tucker, H.Russell.
Replacements: D.Burns, J.Crew, B.Stone. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: J.Durant

Crunch: Penalty try time...

If you're travelling to an away match it's best to leave plenty of time to get there, know where you're going and to ensure you know the kick off time.

The hapless supporter who was also responsible for the photography, arrived 25 minutes into the first half when Clevedon were already 33 nil down and was a bit dejected to say the least when he found out.

His mood was not enhanced by the uncompromising Thornbury gatekeeper who insisted he pay a fiver despite the scoreline and his late arrival, mirroring his teams behaviour on the pitch, who ran Clevedon ragged out wide for a well deserved victory.

Read the Thornbury report here.

Next week, Clevedon are away to Cullompton for a 14:15 kick off. The coach will leave at 11:30 sharp.

Six Nations 2018 Competition

Begins on 3rd February

"Get yours now"

Six Nations 2018 entry form...

With only two weeks to go until the start, there is still plenty of time to enter this competition. It's a bit of fun and you'll enjoy the craic in the comimg weeks.

Please pester Martyn @thebar.

Six Nations 2018 Dinner

16th March 2018

"Tickets available now"

Six Nations 2018 Dinner...The guest speaker will be Craig Chalmers, former Scottish and Lions international.

To obtain your £35.00 tickets for this event, please see Martyn Howell, Dave Alexander or Kerry Pett.

If you've reserved your tickets already then you need to pay for them NOW or risk forfeiting them. If you haven't reserved any then please don't despair - give your name to Martyn @thebar and he'll add you to the waiting list if any one defaults on their booking.

Demand is very high, so it is in the interest of everyone to pay up now or let your reservations go please.

Please note that social media in all its forms will be monitored for any signs of touting!

The Shining Wit's Forum Week 18

Chairman's Chirps

20th January 2018

"A good turnout"

The old 'uns , a mixture of No Necks and Cobweb Corner, met up at the clubhouse on a wet, blustery Saturday for the short trip up the road to Thornbury. Spirits were high, with notions of "this could be the week we turn it around". Unfortunately, Thornbury had other beliefs and we suffered another heavy defeat.

Suffered another heavy defeat...A good turnout of Clevedon supporters made the trip up the M5 to support our struggling 1st XV only to see the weather hold off and the Clevedon defence did not! Credit must be given to Thornbury though as they played some good stuff on a heavy, demanding conditions. After early scores, their tails were up and attacked in wave after wave down the slope and the game was more or less gone in the first half hour.

What a difference a slope makes. At the turnaround our pack were again dominant, especially at the scrum, but the strong running of the opposition backs made sure we could not make up the deficit of the first 40.

To be fair, our boys never gave up and were fighting right at the end to get a 4 try bonus point but even that was not to be.

Sounds a bit groundhog day, but keep it going fellas and it will turnaround.

Don't limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

Yours Aye, Jim

Onlooker's View

20th January 2018

"Missing in action"

The onlooker has gone dark.

No one knows where he is or what his thoughts are any more.

Rumour has it that he has hidden himself away in a darkened room with box sets of Breaking Bad.

Come on out you hermit!

He's back on the grid

Well, another day at the office that went wrong.

The afternoon started with a trip in chairman's Jim car, down country roads getting the car laced with countryside mud and manure. On arrival, the pitch resembled the country lanes we travelled on to get there.

The buffet was nice, but to my dismay no egg sandwiches. Cauliears even turned a pint down so he was obviously not well at all.

The the less said about the game, the better, but we can't blame the lads as they tried their best against a resurgent Thornbury who are further on in the rebuilding stage than we are.

After a quick trip home on clean roads, we arrived back in the club where there was no escape for Cauliears. He had to stay and buy his round, which to be fair he did.

We all watched the Scarlets play and for once it was good to see the English lads supporting the Welsh. Terry Sulley even shook my hand!!

The Cheesies

20th January 2018

"Return of the Cheeseboard"

Not a great weekend for our boys this time around, and with the slightly moist condition of the pitches at Vale and lack of opposition, home entertainment was limited to the school on Sunday. Also a quiet one for Cheese Club members. Due to holidays and other commitments, numbers were limited, though those that attended on both weekend days made a valiant attempt to keep morale and spirits high!!

Speaking of spirits, it appears our El Presidente has gone a little cosmopolitan and taken to quaffing large amounts of Gin. This must be the influence of our globe-trotting Chairman Jim "Lovelace" McVeigh who led him and others astray a few weeks ago in a gin frenzy!!

On the cheese front, Mr Sulley provided a very mature piece of Roquefort which had been hanging around in a cave somewhere for a couple of years and was especially appreciated by Chairman Jim. Very spreadable and pungent it was too. Bring on more of the same.

King Smogglet provided some black pudding scotch eggs and very surprisingly some plain scotch eggs without any superheated chillies!! The table of yellow and blue striped zebras seemed to appreciate them, with one member pocketing a whole one to be consumed later.

Elmer Fudd ...With the diminutive Irish member currently on safari in Kenya, rumours are rife that he has taken his Elmer Fudd shotgun with him and is stalking anything that moves!! I'm sure he'll come back with a few tales of Wabbit on his return. At least it's not live wasp season.

More festering cheesy news next week.

Six Nations 2018 Competitions

4th January 2017

"For the first time ever!"

Six Nations 2018...In order to reflect the growing influence of women's rugby within the club, for the first time ever there will be simultaneous Six Nations competitions. One for the men and one for the women's competition.

The entry cost is £2.00 for each and all proceeds will go towards the club after the six prizes for each competition have been taken into account.

The entry forms can be found behind the bar and are administered by Bar Steward Martyn OR you can collar Weave or Crunch for a form. Alternatively, they will bother you until you submit to their incessant pleas to enter.

Good luck to you all.

Clevedon 27 Bridgwater 35

13th January 2018

"Irresponsible antics"

Team: T.Willis, M.Jordan, J.Tucker, C.Maslen, M.Fisher, T.Thie, R.Talbot, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, W.Taylor, H.Russell, G.Carpenter.
Replacements: J.Crew, R.Hervey, B.Stone. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker

Weave: No.8 Gary Carpenter score Clevedon's opener...

The usual Saturday morning flag and rope ritual revealed some very sticky and moist patches that required attention.

The pitch had not been played on since the 2nd December 2017 and resembled the Somerset Levels. The seagulls have had a field day since then, stamping their feet for worms in the muddy puddles. Consequently, the muddier, compacted bits needed forking due to their irresponsible antics.

This was hard work for the old boys doing it, but by kick off time their efforts were rewarded as the water had seeped away to reveal that lovely Clevedon seagully gloop.

The players loved it so much they threw the ball around to avoid falling in it, the exception being Gary Carpenter who scored two tries in a close encounter with the Bridgy kind.

Read the report here.

Read the Bridgwater report here.

Next week, Clevedon are away to Thornbury for a 14:15 kick off.

Visit the Tribute South West One results here.

Good luck Tucks

16th January 2018

"Hip op time"

Hip Op for Tucks...Club secretary and 1st XV manager Neil Tucker enters hospital today to have a hip replacement and will be out of action for a few weeks. Good luck Tucks, see you soon.

Chairman's Chirps

13th January 2018

"A good spectacle"

A much-improved performance from the lads this week. Very unfortunate to come away with nothing from this one. A good spectacle put on for the spectators by both teams on a difficult heavy pitch. On reflection, Bridgy probably deserved the win, but after all our endeavours, a losing bonus point would have been a fairer outcome. But, alas, 'twas not to be. And that just about sums up the season so far. Keep it going fellas and it will come.

Get a hair cut?...As a postscript, I have now been educated on who "Lovelace" is and it is not the porn star as first assumed. Consequently, I will be visiting the barber's sometime this week.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It's the courage to continue that counts!

Yours Aye, Jim

Six Nations 2018 Dinner

16th March 2018

"Tickets available now"

Six Nations 2018 Dinner...The guest speaker will be Craig Chalmers, former Scottish and Lions international.

To obtain your £35.00 tickets for this event, please see Martyn Howell, Dave Alexander or Kerry Pett.

They're going fast...

Six Nations 2018 Competition

Begins on 3rd February

"Please enter now"

Six Nations 2018 entry form...The entry cost is £2.00 for each and all proceeds will go towards the club after the six prizes for each competition have been taken into account.

The entry forms can be found behind the bar and are administered by Bar Steward Martyn OR you can collar Weave or Crunch for a form. Alternatively, they will bother you until you submit to their incessant pleas to enter.

Pit your Six Nations knowledge against the best pundits and use your skill to determine who will win each match to capture the top prize.

You've gotta be in it to win it. Good luck!

Bideford 73 Clevedon 7

6th January 2018

"The X-Factor Four"

Team: T.Willis, E.Poulter, J.Tucker, C.Maslen, D.Burns, J.Barzotelli, R.Talbot, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, J.Crew, R.Hervey, W.Taylor.
Replacements: A.Jones, H.Jenning, B.Lias. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker

Weave: Joseph Tucker scores...

As is the custom on away coach trips, any debutant has to perform a song and get judged by their team mates.

On this trip to Bideford there were four, so the entertainment was spectactular and ear-splitting.

Plucked from the third team, these magnificent four were inducted into the first team in style. In this most disconcerting of seasons, who will be next to join them?

Read the report here.

Next week, Clevedon are at home to Bridgwater for a 14:15 kick off, preceded by a VP's lunch at 13:15.

Visit the Tribute South West One results here.

Sartorial Elegance

6th January 2018

"The clash of the blazers"

The travelling blazers...A 10:45 start to the day was just about bearable for the travelling blazers, who came armed with coffee and butties for the 2 hour trip to Bideford.

Arriving at 13:00 they found a glorious buffet laid on by the hosts who were overjoyed to see them in their blue and gold blazers.

Bernie Ridd and Alan Crane clash...Bideford treasurer Bernie Ridd was responsible for kitting out 40 or so members to coincide with Clevedon's visit.

They sheepishly formed a guard of honour in their new blazers as the players ran on to the pitch. It was a unique moment for Bideford who now have the pleasure of travelling away in them. They'll receive plenty of comments that's for sure and will definitely be a conversation starter. Thick skins maybe required!

The complete set of pictures can be found by clicking any image.

Chairman's Chirps

6th January 2018

"The Battle of Bideford"

Heavy defeats on two fronts this week. The Battle of Bideford and the Battle of the Blazers.

On the field we were forced to field a young inexperienced side, excepting the ever-young, adolescent Barzo, with 4 making their debuts. A spirited performance, but not really a match for a mature Biddy team determined to overturn their earlier loss to us at The Vale.

The Clevedon forwards again put in a good shift, but tackling and tackling technique across the board let us down. Harry Jennings is testament to the fact after his "enforced rest" when bravely trying to down one of the big Biddy forwards. Fortunately, Harry was not seriously injured but the medical staff these days are always cautious with head and neck injuries. And rightly so. Keep it going guys, it will bode well for next season.

Adolescent Barzo?...You learn more about yourself and the team, in defeat than you do in victory. The heavier the defeat, the more you learn.

The Bideford Blazer Brigade also made their debut on the day. They made enquiries a season or two ago as to where we had ours made. Obviously, we made an impression. I understand they had 44 members clamouring for them. Another one up to Bideford!

This defeat did not seem to affect team morale as we oldies were entertained by the debutants' singing performances on the bus home.

The cauli-eared, bespectacled one also had a good day out, considering the circumstances. He achieved his mission of getting regally fed and having a few beers, all for the price of a Bideford programme. Chasing the Cashless One's title maybe?

Yours Aye, Jim

Happy New Year

1st January 2018

"Away to Bideford"

Only five days to Clevedon's next league game away to Bideford on Saturday 6th January. The coach will be leaving at 11:00 with a full contingent of old timers supporting their young team who will be attempting a double over their rivals three places above them in ht eleague and separated by a mere 13 points.

Everyone seems confident of a turnaround in fortunes this year and will be looking forward to an enjoyable trip to balmy North Devon.

See you on the coach.

Chairman's Chirps

3rd January 2018

"Support the lads"

Now is the time for the Clevedon supporters to stand fore-square behind their team and give them the encouragement they need to survive in this league.

Please start by getting on that coach with me on Saturday to Bideford.

In the middle of every difficulty, lies an opportunity.

Chairman Lovelace...Happy New Year, Chairman Lovelace

The Cheesies

30th December 2017

"The last cheeseboard"

The last cheeseboard...

The table was laid with a sumptuous array of fine food and drink as the notorious Cheese Club settled in for an afternoon of gluttony and inane chatter.

With rugby on the big screen their entertainment was increased by the arrival of "the bloke that falls off his bike a lot", displaying his latest war wounds from the previous week. Thankfully, after a night as a guest of Southmead hospital, he has recovered enough to continue with his "years ago" stories - yawn. Unfortunately, he couldn't remember his "only a week ago" stories, so everyone reminded him. For once, he did look a little bit embarassed and forelorn. Keep up the recovery old timer.

More cheesy stuff next year.

Nailsea & Backwell 2xv 14 Clevedon 3xv 10

16th December 2017

"A game of high quality" By Mike Thomas

Morgan Pryce scores Clevedon's opener...This was a game of high quality with four outstanding tries through sheer pace.

Clevedon, playing down the slope, had early chances but the home defence held firm.

Nailsea & Backwell took the lead with a try after a slick handling move. This was converted. Clevedon hit back with an unconverted try of their own through speedy winger Morgan Pryce.

With the game flowing from end to end, Clevedon took the lead with a good try by James Hervy. Before the break N&B regained the lead with a converted try.

The second half was much of the same with both sides creating chances, but either good defence or a dropped ball in the cold conditions prevented any more scores.

Clevedon should have won the game in the last minutes while camped on the hosts line, but wrong options were applied and defence held firm against the onslaught.

The next matches for Clevedon begin again on January 6th 2018.

The Shining Wit's Forum Week 15

Chairman's Chirps

14th December 2017

"First-class game"

With the 1st XV game called off, a fair few made their way over to Nailsea for the 3rd team's fixture against local rivals Nailsea and Backwell. I think we may have outnumbered the home support, but unfortunately not on the scoreboard. We were treated to a first-class game of rugby, which could have gone either way. Cracking tries scored by both sides on a cold and crisp afternoon. Personally, I felt that we should have won it after spending the last minutes of the game on the N&B line, but failing to convert the pressure into a winning score. Determined defence from the home side though and credit where credit is due. Well done Barzo and the boys.

Christmasy Chairman Jim...

Returned to Clevedon to participate in a good afternoon/evening ,which tends to be most Saturdays these days and long may it continue. Too much port imbibed by some of us old folks with Jonno Pearce to blame for starting the rot by sticking a bottle on the table occupied by Cobweb Corner. The man with the Caulie ears and glasses followed suit and cannot remember much after that. The Cheesies were involved somewhere during the proceedings, but as previously reported, the memory fades.

I don't think there are any games on over the festive period, but would like to take the opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year.

Let's hope the New Year brings a bit of better luck and a few well-deserved wins for all our teams.

Yours Aye, Jim

Onlooker's View

16th December 2017

"Breath of fresh air"

WWhat a breath of fresh air this local derby game was. Thirty players playing their hearts out with basic rugby and some interesting referee's decisions taken in good spirits. I don't think the players had the breath to challenge the decisions anyway.

It was also good to see great Clevedon support who were subject to a series of sarcastic remarks from the hosts supporters about a number of Clevedon first team players playing. What a ridiculous comment, they were all on the N&B balcony drinking ale!

Poor old Terry Harris went to the club to watch the 1st XV and found out the hard way that the game was off. He should've looked at the website or even read his text messages telling him that the game had been postponed due to a waterlogged pitch.

The old blazer boys were driven out by designated taxi driver Trevor and they thoroughly enjoyed their afternoon.Their evening was enjoyable to, but ended in a port-induced wobbleathon at about 9pm.

Well done you 3rds.

Hic, hic

The Cheesies

14th December 2017

"Festering Cheesy News"

A quiet weekend at the Vale, however, due to the cancellation of 1st team game, an opportunity was afforded for the usual supporters to take advantage of free time to imbibe alcoholic refreshments in the bar. Some ventured further afield in search of rugby to watch, with a few blazer clad members travelling to the nearby Nailsea & Backwell game and returning to the club resembling a herd of oddly coloured zebra starved of liquid sustenance!!

The Travelling  Blazers...

The man with no hair, no teeth, ears and glasses and the tallest man in the world (aka Dave), despite warnings to the contrary, were keen to sample some of the King Smegglets slightly spicy onions. As usual the wares were not sampled with any finesse, simply stuffed in the mouth whole!! The subsequent puce face colourings told the story, no words were needed (which was fortunate as neither seemed capable of speaking coherently for some time afterwards). After recovering the one with no hair was heard accusing the King Smegglet of "Abuse of the Elderly". Outrageous!!

A pretty full turnout of cheese club members enjoyed a few samples of the blue veined festering curds, with even a couple of the female members attending. Nobody will be surprised that as the evening got into full swing, the Zebra lookalikes started listing to Port with several bottles of the ruby nectar opened and duly consumed. Not to be outdone, the Scottish cheesy member (aka English Dave) decided the high cheese table should follow their example!! Seemed a good idea at the time.

On arrival at the club of that famous seafarer Tugboat Pete, most were well past their best, he was subsequently heard to make the outrageous comment to the King Smegglet "You slurred that Smoggie". An obvious mistake by Peter who I'm sure must have some hearing impairment. As usual, the evening ended on a low note with the diminutive Irish member having to be lifted from the floor claiming "me backs gone!!" Still, no harm done, all survived to fight and play again on Sunday!!!

More festering cheesy news next week. Have a great Christmas.

The Shining Wit's Forum Week 14

Chairman's Chirps

9th December 2017

"So near, yet..."

We set off for North Petherton in reasonably high spirits and a ray of optimism for a result. Mr T at the wheel and cCauliears navigating. It's a miracle we arrived undamaged as Drives was continually asking if there was "anything left or right". Mike's neck and shoulder mobility is not what it was after all those years spent playing in the front row. Mr Potts did not instil any confidence with his replies either. Needless to say, the cashless one kept my mind off any impending danger with his non-stop stimulating conversation from the back seats.

Christmasy Chairman Jim...We arrived good and early and our hosts treated us to a superb roast dinner with all the trimmings. My vote for the best of the season - so far. Thanks, Pethy.

On a bitterly cold afternoon we were treated to a good game of rugby with both sides playing to their strengths. Our defence was much improved today and coped well for the majority of the game. The spectators saw some fine worked tries from our boys the game ebbed and flowed for the first hour or so.

I thought were on for our second win of the season when the forwards earned a penalty try and put us in front. Alas, it was not to be as we tired in the last quarter, probably due to the amount of tackles that had been put in during the earlier stages of the game. To be honest, the final score line did not reflect the game, but fair do's to Pethy, they broke loose in the final 15 minutes.

We had a new "snapper" in attendance today with Crunch taking over duties from Weave. Kev using extreme measures while using a circular saw to flay his fingers - a lucky chap indeed. Get sorted soon Weave. Those jobs around the clubhouse need your attention!

Teignmouth at the Vale at the halfway point of the season. No pressure, but it would be a nice Christmas present though lads.

Yours Aye, Jim

Onlooker's View

9th December 2017

"He's awake at last"

Hibernation is over for the onlooker who's missive is below.

The snugly wrapped Onlooker...Well, after a better display I thought we were on for a win, but it was not to be.The faithful few suffered in the cold, but I must admit my wife kitted me out with nice, snugly and warm attire, so I was comfortable.

Going down in the car Cauliears asked the usual question about food. When he was in the queue for the carvery a chap spoke to old Cauli and had a long conversation with him. Afterwards, I asked 'ears who he was and he replied "I don't talk to strangers". What an amnusing chap he is.

Chairman Jim was quiet and disappointed with the result, but was adamant that Nick the coach should stick with the young blood. This was echoed by all of Cobweb Corner.

Cashless was rather quiet and for once did not talk about football, mainly because Arsenal were not playing and because he had the biggest plate full of carvery known to man.

Happy days!

The Cheesies

10th December 2017

"Creamy curds of delight"

Will be with us shortly.

More smeggy whey next week.

Clevedon v. Teignmouth - POSTPONED

16th December 2017

"Rain Stops Play !"

waterlogged...Saturday's 1st team game at home to Teignmouth has been postponed due to a water logged pitch.

However, the 3rd team game away against Nailsea & Backwell is still on !! Kick off 2.15 at Nailsea. Finish wrapping those presents and get over to Nailsea and support the boys.

The club will be open as usual with some of the finest selections of beers, ciders and lagers this side of the Gordano valley! Come on down and enjoy European rugby on the big screen.

North Petherton 38 Clevedon 19

9th December 2017

"15 minutes from victory!"

Team: J.Tucker, T.Willis, T.Thie, J.Williams, D.Burns, A.Cole, A.Vailes, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, W.Taylor, J.Crew, R.Hervey.
Replacements: J.Crichton, R.Talbot . Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker

Weave: Joe Williams trots back back after his try...

Don't be mislead by the scoreline this week, because Clevedon played really well and it does them no justice at all. They were inventive, expansive and committed, but ultimately profligate towards the end of the game.

Leading 19-17 with 15 minutes left on the clock, Clevedon were undone by a couple quick surges upfield by North Petherton, who capitalised on a tiring defence to score three decisive, converted tries, which on balance they deserved and tough to report.

Nevermind, that's the first half of the season over with and time now to begin the recovery to safety. This will happen if Clevedon can remember how to hold on to a lead and grind the game out, whichwill happen on Saturday at The Vale, providing a much needed bit of Christmas cheer for the Clevedon faithful. Come on you young 'uns! and the wise old heads like captain Matt Honour, Tommy Thie and Joe Williams.

Read the report here.

Next week, Clevedon are at home to Teignmouth for a 14:30 kick off.

Visit the Tribute South West One results here.

Clevedon 17 Newent 55

2nd December 2017

"The only way is up"

Team: T.Willis, J.Tucker, C.Maslen, T.Thie(c), D.Burns, A.Cole, R.Talbot, B.Largenton, J.Crew, B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, D.Rawle, W.Taylor, H.Russell.
Replacements: B.Stone, A.Vailes, R.Hervey. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker

Weave: Rhys Talbot gets the ball away...

Clevedon, 8 points adrift at the bottom of the table and 11 from safety have a mountain to climb to stave off relegation. They've done it before and they'll do it again. All it will take is one decent win and the confidence will soar and their worries will be over :>).

Coache Hill is working hard with the players to achieve their second win of the season. Come on Clevedon

Read the report here.

Next week, Clevedon are away to North Petherton for a 14:30 kick off.

Visit the Tribute South West One results here.

The Shining Wit's Forum Week 13

Chairman's Chirps

2nd December 2017

"Brief and honest"

This will be brief. To be honest, I am finding it difficult find much positive to say about the game against Newent, but there are a couple of things. Firstly, our set piece went pretty well as usual and secondly, the latter stages of the game when Clevedon actually started to play as they strove to get a try bonus point and come away with something from the game. Not to be though.

Arguably some would say we have the best pack in this league, but we are still not getting the results. At the breakdown we were poor and Newent seemed to be able to turn over, or strip the ball at will, which led to the disparity in the score line.

On a good note, I imagine the bar had a good day and our visitors, RMA RFC certainly did. I suppose they are the Royal Marine equivalent to the No Necks or Cobweb Corner. They had nothing but praise for the club. Everyone made them welcome and a good day was had by all.

Needless to say, I could not make the usual Sunday meet with the Cheesies due to a severe 24hr hangover.

Train well this week boys and let's get that second win at North Petherton that could kickstart a climb up the league. There, how is that for positivity?

The pain you feel today is the strength you'll feel tomorrow.

Good to welcome Jon Meek (RMA RFC) back to Clevedon RFC. Jon's mother is still a Clevedon resident. Served with Jon many moons ago and it was good to see Jon remonstrating with Mr T. about some unjust dapping that occurred when Mike taught him. Don't leave it so long next time Jon.

Yours Aye, Jim

The Cheesies

2nd December 2017

"Return of the Reaper"

RMA RFCOut of town "Cheesies" aka the Royal Marines Association graced the club with their presence last weekend, although they seemed to be more interested in the port offering than any of the smeggie stuff!! Several bottles were consumed, with our globe-trotting Chairman being heavily involved it would appear.

The Reaper returnsOn the cheese front, Cheese Club members gathered on Saturday, to sample a variety of cultures, ranging from smoked cheeses with ham to those good old stalwarts, English Stilton and our continental friend, Danish Blue (sounds like an old 70's porn movie!!). These were accompanied by a particularly pleasant and popular selection of olives and sun dried tomatoes.

But undoubtedly the star of the show was the return of the Carolina Reaper pickled onions. The Reapers return had even the fearless former Marines blubbering like babies and swilling cooling pints with port chasers.

More smeg next week.

Onlooker's View

2nd December 2017


He's gone into hibernation and will wake again in the spring.


Matson 34 Clevedon 17

26th November 2017

"Difficult afternoon at Matson"

Team: T.Willis, J.Tucker, C.Maslen, T.Thie, D.Burns, A.Cole, J.Williams, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, B.Stone, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Foley, W.Taylor, H.Russell.
Replacements: J.Crew, R.Talbot, R.Hervey. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker

Weave: Joe Williams scores the second of his two tries...

Apparently, the Clevedon support for this away game was much depleted from the usual mob. A combination of illness, internationals and prior commitments left the team bereft of supporting noise. Consequently, the players must've been pining for the missing and couldn't concentrate on their game properly. By all accounts, they were fighting a rearguard action with injuries and only 13 on the park.

Tucks was pleased with the youngsters who were playing and indicates that the future is bright and that everyone should keep the faith, because they will bounce back.

Read the report here.

Next week, Clevedon are at home to fourth placed Newent for a 14:30 kick off and a 13:30 lunch.

Visit the Tribute South West One results here.

Onlooker's View

No news from his sick bed I'm afraid, but I'm sure he'll be fine this week and back to being a fully functioning Welsh person again. A win for Clevedon and Wales against South Africa will see him perk right up.

Chairman's Chirps

26th November 2017

"Short and sweet"

Short and sweet from me this week. My theory of non-attendance was proven wide of the mark as the loss to Matson substantiates. Even Mr T missed this one as he was too ill to make it. Must have been pretty rough for him to miss a match. Answers on a postcard when the last time he missed a 1st team game (Ed. 15 years ago!). Get well soon Mr President. Significantly, Cobweb Corner members were depleted this week. Much more of the same it seems from what I can gather from folks that were there. So, as I was not, I will leave the opinions of the match to others more qualified to comment. Next Saturday at the Vale versus Newent has to be the one.

Another good performance by our 3rd XV only to be replayed later, due to the ref being injured and unable to finish the game. Date of replay unknown at this stage. Hey ho, good for the bar profits if nowt else.

However, I did manage to attend the Ladies inaugural home game against Thornbury. It was a well supported day by all and good to see some of the adult male players and members pitch side lending their support to the female representatives of the club. Thornbury brought a fair few along too. An entertaining, hard fought game ensued with Thornbury doing enough in the final 10 mins to clinch victory. The game was well refereed by Adam Glen who let the game flow and made it good entertainment to watch. Look out Nigel Owen! Ladies day, with U15's and U13's also playing was a huge success. Yet again, a good apres match session in the bar shared with the Big Cheesies.

Cheesie News

The cheesy, smeggie news this week is off the menu. Seems like Yogi's knob got the better of them. After all he is a Camembert.

This is only a temporary hiccup and I'm sure the news will be flowing just like some baked Camembert.

Clevedon 59 Burnham 7

19th November 2017

"Clevedon On Fire "

Team: T.Willis, J.Tucker, C.Maslen, T.Thie, M.Parslow, A.Cole, R.Talbot, B.Largenton, J.Crew, B.Stone, W.Trollope, O.Jones, W.Taylor, H.Russell, G.Carpenter.
Replacements: J.Crichton, R.Hervey, M.Fisher, A.Warren, O.Wilson. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker

Weave: Tom Willis scores at full stretch...

Once the half time score suggested a comfortable win for Clevedon, the pitch-side support dwindled as people sneaked off to the clubhouse to watch the England game and to get in the warm.

The diehards though stayed to watch the second half and to get the flags, rope and post protectors in afte rthe final whistle.

There is also litter picking to be done as the rubbish strewn about the place during and after the match is a disgrace. Bin it or take it home with please!

Next week, Clevedon are away to Matson. The coach leaves at 11:00.

Visit the Tribute South West One results here.

The Shining Wit's Forum Week 11

Chairman's Chirps

19th November 2017

"Aussie Bashing"

The dear old Chirpy Chairman was at HQ and didn't see Clevedon's resounding victory at th Vale. What interesting chirps will he have this week?

Not much to report on this week as I was not at the cup game against Burnham on Sea. Me I should stay away more often.

With a few regular first team players away (this weekend was originally a blank on the fixture list), the young guns picked up the mantle and produced the goods for this match. It was a good win and will hopefully be the turnaround in our season. Matson away next week. How good would a win be there?,/p>

The 3rd XV are doing very well thank you and are at home to Yate. Please come along and voice your encouragement if the trip to Matson is not your cup of tea.

The Ladies are playing their first home fixture this Sunday against Cheddar. Please come along to the Vale to lend your support. It should be a good day.

Tom covering his curly top
At last, Tom is listening to his Dad's advice and wearing a hat.

Chirpy, chirps.

The Cheesies

19th November 2017

"Diabolical Smeggie News"

The clubhouse was rammed for the England match so the Smogheads decided to hide their cheesy paraphernalia until the crowds has disappeared. What did they hide it?.

At last some good news from on the field. Well done lads.

On the cheese front, almost the entire Cheese Club membership, including that former Scotsman now calling himself English Dave were gathered on Saturday in a very busy clubhouse to watch the internationals. They were also there to sample a variety of gastronomic delights ranging from salted chilli belly pork (Paddy's favourite!!), Wasabi Almonds and a selection of cheeses.

One particular offering presented by the former Treasurer and ex-Ginger Terry Sulley was especially outstanding in that it smelt like a five week old corpse!!! Even I, the giant Smeggadon, couldn't face it, nor could that other blue cheese connoisseur Mr. Holland aka The Dutchman!! Ultimately, I believe it was returned to the point of purchase for a refund or replacement. Cheese members reckon it was supposed to be a portion of Cornish Blue, but was definitely a deathly shade of green. We look forward with anticipation to the replacement gracing the cheeseboard.

A fine cheese selection...The boys return to league action on Saturday, let's hope for a good result and the start of a turnaround. Also, don't forget the lasses are playing this coming Sunday and I'm sure would appreciate everyone's support.

More festering cheesy news next week.

Onlooker's View

19th November 2017

"Georgia on my mind"

It has been determined that the onlooker is a proud Welshman and couldn't be contacted after the Welsh result. Perhaps he will break cover to give his unique view of the events this week. Where is he?

All the best. XX

Clevedon 19 Launceston 21

11th November 2017

"Challenging times ahead"

Team: T.Willis, J.Tucker, C.Maslen, T.Thie, M.Parslow, A.Cole, R.Talbot, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Foley, H.Russell, D.Rawle.
Replacements: J.Crew, G.Carpenter, B.Stone. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker

Weave: Ben Stone returns...

Veteran Ben Stone has started playing again to provide the team with some much needed experience. His no-nonsense approach is a welcome sight when coming off the bench. His play around the park belying his advancing years with his trade mark quick stepping runs gaining yards. The old boys love him!

Unfortunately, the crowd was lacking a few due to the grey weather, the England 15:00 kick off and Clevedon slipping behind 0-14 in the first 20 minutes. The bar did well enough though!

The bonus point for Clevedon was their only reward after a controversial Launceston try five minutes from the end denied them the win.

Next week, Clevedon are at home to Burnham in a Somerset Cup quarter final. The kick off will be at 14:00, preceded by a lunch at 13:00. The Colts are also at home to Winscombe in the Somerset Colts Cup.

Visit the Tribute South West One results here.

This week in 2016

Clevedon 33 Taunton 12

11th November 2016, 19:30

"Taunton surprised"

Team: T.Thie, M.Taylor, A.Rice, C.Maslen, H.Butland, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, M.Honour, B.Bosley, D.Rawle, L.Appleby, H.Foley, R.Biggins, H.Russell(c). Replacements: B.Stone, J.Lugtig, J.Ford, A.Vailes. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Physio: G.Davis.

Alan Crane: A minutes silence before the match...

The game had hardly started and Clevedon found themselves 7 nil up as Aaron Rice carved his way through from a long way out. Five minutes later and it was all square.

As the scoreboard photos show, the game was even until the half hour mark when Kieran Hill increased Clevedon's lead with a penalty for a 7-10 half time scoreline.

The score stayed like that for a while and Clevedon further increased their lead with converted tries and penalties from the 50th minute.

A total of 5(4-1 Taunton) yellow cards explains what a frustrating time it was for the home side as Clevedon dominated the latter stages except for a consolation try on the final whistle.

A good win for Clevedon on a chilly night and after a slow journey down the motorway due the WSM carnival. The old boys were happy.

Clevedon are away to Matson on Saturday, 19th November, kick off 14:30. The seconds are at home to Wyvern.

The Shining Wit's Forum Week 10

Chairman's Chirps

11th November 2017

"Groundhog Day"

Groundhog Day...What do we have to do to win this elusive second game and turn our season around? Another 2 point loss which is hard to bear. Legged it back from Ashton Gate to see us give Launceston the usual 14 point start before proceeding to dominate play. Forwards, yet another immense shift. Cannot fault the effort put in by all 18 to be honest. Not one to slate referees, but thought the man in the middle was having a decent game until the last 20 mins where he seemed to miss a fair bit, resulting in Launceston pinching the result at the death. It has got to come soon. Maybe the break and cup game next week will benefit us.

"He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior."

Have to mention our Honoured Secretary this week for not only doing a first rate job running the line but for the manner he admonished a Clevedon spectator on the side-line for critiquing the way our young side were performing. Send him to Mike T next time for a severe dapping!

Another good afternoon and evening in the Clubhouse on Saturday with the Colts win at home, which was later boosted by the return of the triumphant 3rd XV after another victory away at Broadplain. BZ fellas. Our visitors stayed for a good while, which was nice to see. My Mrs stayed longer than usual as well. Probably due to the Launceston boys getting their kit off after a few wets.

Must give a mention to the present and former players who made an appearance for Bristol United v UK Armed Forces. All three did well, nice one Harley Foley, Kieran Hill and Alex Giltrow. Good to see Gilly back at the club on Saturday supporting and having a beer with the boys.

The Doom Bar seems to be going down well. Was going to get Cauliears's opinion after the game, but he seemed to disappear after the final whistle. Was he that upset with the result or was the threat of being called "a fire hazard" too much for him?

Chirpy, chirps.

The Cheesies

12th November 2017

"Extremely Smeggie News"

Some Geezer...Some geezer who bears a very strong resemblance to the bloke with ears, no hair, no teeth and glasses, appears to have been involved in an accident. The lengths some people will go to in order to avoid putting their hands in their pocket is beyond belief. Cheese members reckon the injury was incurred when using his JCB like claw to hoover up Smoggies sandwiches last week!! The bloke himself insists it was an accident whilst leisurely cycling on a training ride and was later heard to utter "Back in the day they would have amputated it".

A fine piece of Roquefort...A fine piece of Roquefort was unveiled as Saturday afternoon turned more to rugby on the TV rather than on the pitch at the Vale, which immediately prompted our diminutive Irish member to turn a shade of green only slightly paler than the Irish shirts and mutter something about live wasps again. We never realised he was such a fan of them!!

This didn't deter him though from having a dispute with El Presidente about which of the Welsh or Irish games should be on the big screen. Given Paddy's reputation for his Gaelic temper and punching well above his weight, Sir Michael retreated to the skittle alley to watch Wales, only to return later with a glum look on his face, which wasn't helped by Paddy extolling the skills of the Irish side!!

Cup game this weekend let's hope for a change of fortune.

More stinky, mouldy, cheesy waspy news next week.

Onlooker's View

12th November 2017


I have decided to write this week having neglected to do so last week, because of the disappointing result we had at Keynsham. Please accept my apologies.

I took to my bed for a couple of days afterwards and when I got out I forgot why I'd been there and carried on with my week.

"Same old story"

Well same old story, but we're nearly there. We will get there in the end.

It was nice to see the chairman rushing back to see us play and striding up the touchline with his black and white (Ed. It was Bristol Blue!) scarf around his neck.The same colours as the Cornish flag (Ed. Not) that was behind the posts.

The tallest man won the port, did he share it?. Pottsie paraded around with his arm in a sling having come off his bike .I thought only kids did that, say no more. He disappearedd after the game for his long walk home. Let us know next time, because we thought you had got lost in the mud m ate!.

A great time was had in the club with the Launceston lads getting into the swing of things just like "Years ago".The after match raffle has become a hit. I now have won quite a number of Christmas presents. Ah, well happy days are still down at the Vale with the 3rd team doing well and the Colts also winning in the sea of mud.

All the best. XX

The Shining Wit's Forum Week 9

Chairman's Chirps

6th November 2017

Well he wasn't chirpy on Saturday and neither was anyone else?

"Chirp 9 not Cloud 9"

What can one say about that game? Most of the travelling support had a warm, fuzzy feeling about this one. All in good spirits on the trip across, but a bit disappointed and disillusioned on the return. having had the majority of possession and territory.

We were the better side, but slack tackling and not taking our opportunities were our demise. After giving Keynsham a 14-0 start I always felt we would push on and win this one. The forwards were again dominant in the scrum, but the lineout was not as good as it might be. We looked to only have one option at our lineout and this was sussed early on by the opposition. This was truly a case of could have, should have, would have. But didn't.

What do we have to do to get the elusive second win? Simples, beat Launceston next Saturday at The Vale.

Keep up the effort boys and it will come. Rest assured, us 'old farts' we will be behind you.

"If you train hard, you'll not only be hard, you'll be hard to beat."

To finish on a high note, the 3rd XV had a superb win against Barton Hill II. Be careful boys, you may be on that rocky road to promotion.

The girls festival on Sunday was really well attended with plenty of local sides gracing us with their presence. Good to see all those out there enjoying the competition and the sunshine.

Wiggling his behind...Oh, by the way if you did not already know, The Ruckers won last week in the skittles beating local rivals, The Gremlins. This may be why our President has been unusually happy this past week. All down to Weave skittling out of his socks again. No thanks to this bloke sticking out his tongue and wiggling his behind at the opposition.

Looking forward to a chirpy weekend.

Onlooker's View

4th November 2017

Was he there? Is he okay? Is he still disappointed?

The Cheesies

6th November 2017

They don't travel well, but are sure to provide some insight soon?

...and here it is.

"Low fat food"

The Smoggie member of the Smeggy club has returned to active service following his intestinal clear-out caused by something he possibly caught from eating low fat health food stuff. He swears it's more efficient than colonic irrigation!!

As expected, all the usual suspects were pleased to see him back in the fold on Saturday, none more so than the bloke with ears, no hair, no teeth and glasses (Cauliears), who proceeded to demolish around a dozen of the egg mayo sandwiches Smoggie brought from his 1 year old granddaughters birthday tea party. Even The Prez didn't get a look in!!

As Saturday evening wore on, inevitably the port was sampled from Martyn's bar selection. When asked if he was going to participate our globe-trotting Chairman declined (much to the astonishment of all) by stating: "By eck nay. Ar've got ta geet back te are lass, she be cooking supper like" - he's from Sheffield.

The bottle of Taylors LBV 2011 was a fine selection, reasonably priced and smooth on the palate. Good value. (Just so you know what you missed Jim)

Demanche et la grande fromage was enjoyed by those who sampled it. Our diminutive Irish member started chuntering about eating live wasps as a preference, though I'm not sure he realises they don't come in a full fat version!!

Some sort of cheesy delight...We're not sure if he was feeling a little embarrassed at missing out on Saturday, but the Chairman provided another bottle of port for our afternoon session on Sunday, very pleasantly named "Body Snatcher". It worked for me!!

Good luck to the boys on the pitch this weekend - I'm off to slimming world.

More stinky mouldy cheesy news next week.

Keynsham 19 Clevedon 17

4th November 2017

"This loss hurts"

Team: T.Thie, T.Willis, C.Maslen, B.Williams, J.Tucker, A.Cole, A.Vailes, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Foley, J.Crew, D.Rawle.
Replacements: D.Burns, A.Davis, J.Butler. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker

Tom Thie scores Clevedon's first try...Photo by Cruncher Crane

Brian Largenton scores Clevedon's second try...Photo by Cruncher Crane

Joe Tucker scores Clevedon's third try...Photo by Weave

After quickly going down 14-0 in the opening minutes, Clevedon clawed their way back to a half time score 14-12. Things were looking good with the Clevedon pack paving the way and the big promise of a better second half.

Unfortunately, Clevedon leaked another try shortly after the restart and again recovered to 19-17 with ten minutes to play. Either of three kickable penalties would've sealed the match for Clevedon, but didn't and Clevedon were left to rue the early costly mistakes.

The signs are there for a recovery and with a home game next week, maybe this'll be the week they complete it.

Next week, Clevedon are at home to Launceston for a 14:30 kick off, preceded by a lovely, luscious lunch at 13:30.

Visit the Tribute South West One results here.

This week in 2016

Clevedon 59 Midsomer Norton 5

5th November 2016

"A Midsomer Nights Dream for Clevedon"

Team: T.Thie, M.Taylor, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, H.Butland, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, M.Honour, B.Bosley, W.Trollope, H.Foley, R.Biggins, H.Russell, O.Biggins(c). Replacements: L.Appleby, C.Maslen, J.Ford. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: N.Tucker. Physio: G.Davis.

Kevin Weaver: Big Basher try...

Another high scoring game and plenty of Clevedon tries, this one from Dean Ashfield.

Clevedon boast the second highest positive points difference and also the highest number of bonus points after runaway league leaders WSM.

This is a great start to the season for Clevedon who face Taunton away in the Somerset Cup on Friday, 11th November, kick off 19:30.

Read more here.

The Shining Wit's Forum Week 8

Chairman's Chirps

28th October 2017

"Jimmy my love"

As I lie on my sunbed in sunny Cyprus, I'm thinking of you all back home and wondering what I'm missing.

My old war wounds are telling me that the game will be close as we've always raised our game against student teams in the past.

As Another penile colada arrives by side, my bonnie wife tells me not to fret so much.

"Jimmy my love" she says, "Whatever happens, I'm here for you - you know that don't you?". I replied "I do my lovely one and that's very sweet of you my darling, because I'm here for YOU as well".

At which point, she decides to go into the sea for a swim and for a bit of fun, I shout after her, "Don't go in the water my love, they'll harpoon you", which spoilt the great holiday vibe we had going. Some people have no sense of humour.

P.S. I'm only here to celeberate the wife's birthday after all and would much rather be standing pitchside at The Vale sharing the craic with you lot, but don't say a word, okay?


The Real Chirp

Unable to make the game again on Saturday, but will have to put pen to paper as I don't want to encounter the wrath of the "long haired editor" [Too late mate!]. Sounds like I missed a cracker and a losing bonus point against the unbeaten league leaders is no mean feat. Well done Hilly, the coaching team and the boys. Off the bottom and improving. Looking forward to doing battle with Keynsham next week.

What else did I miss? Did the "cashless one" buy a round? Is it true Cauliears is on a diet and bypassed the kebab van on his way home? Is Mr T still smiling or is it the inherent wind problem that plagues the males in the Thomas household? Has there been a sighting of the short No Neck, Terry 'arris?

Terry 'arris, bobbing up and down like this...I did, however, come across this guy in a taverna doing on impression of old 'arris, bobbing up and down like this, in true 'arris fashion. Not on par with our Terry though !

The Cheesies

31stOctober 2017

"Fondue Set Time Machine"

This is the cheese straw that broke the camel's back.

Gooey, molten mass of cheese...

The Smeggites have taken delivery of a fondue set and seem to be proud of their new purchase. These hard-core cheese and hot chilli lovers are reliving their first experiences by using the "Fondue Set Time Machine" to travel back to a time when they were all the rage.

Come on down to the club this weekend and witness Le Grande Fromage and his followers dipping their bread into the gooey, moulten mass in front of them. Who knows, they might start a new trend.

Now that would be a first.

More Fondue news next week.

Onlooker's View

30th October 2017

"Encouraging performance"

Well, what an encouraging performance that was. It was just a pity that our chairman was in the sun and heat of Cyprus while we were watching our babes in the cold wind. It was great to see old man Fordie down there giving his witty and sarcastic omments. Poor old Weave was stuck at a wedding away from his beloved Doombar, so his deputy took charge of the camera and cocked it up by missing the last two tries. Cauliears was happy with the Doombar, which I must say went down very well. It was also nice to see Harris back and increasing the bar take.

The students were not allowed to drink because they had to get back to Exeter, but fair enough they were amicable enough and learned a great deal about club life I'm sure.

Onward to Keynsham next week and the climb up the table starts begins.


Clevedon 24 Exeter University 31

28th October 2017

"2:1 honours for Students"

Team: T.Willis, D.Burns, T.Thie, C.Maslen, M.Parslow, A.Cole, A.Vailes, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Foley, C.Tucker, D.Rawle.
Replacements: J.Crew, M.Fisher, R.Hervey. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker

Tommy Thie opens Clevedon's scoring...

From the kick off it was obvious that the game plan was to munch Exeter University up-front. This tactic worked for 80% of the game, but was undone just before and after half time.

Straight after the restart, the students chucked the ball about with gay abandon and leapt into a 31-10 lead after 50 minutes. They didn't score again as Clevedon reasserted themselves and clawed their way back to a losing bonus, which was very satisfying for the watching supportes who had feared a rout.

There was a try from Tom Thie (pictured) and two from Cameron Maslen, which the replacement photographer failed to capture. Apparently, the old duffer pressed the off button for the first of Cam's tries and and missed the second when the camera battery ran out. Come back Weave - PLEASE!

More of the same committment and determination next week Clevedon and we'll give our old foes Keynsham a fright. The kick off is at 14:15.

Visit the Tribute South West One results here.

This week in 2016

Drybrook 31 Clevedon 30

29th October 2016

"A Close Encounter In The Forest !"

Team: T.Thie, M.Taylor, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, H.Butland, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, M.Honour, B.Bosley, W.Trollope, H.Foley, R.Biggins, H.Russell, O.Biggins(c). Replacements: T.Statton, C.Maslen, J.Ford. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: N.Tucker. Physio: G.Davis.

Kevin Weaver: Mattie Honour scores for a second week running...

In recent years Drybrook have been battling with a wild boar problem. This was finally resolved a couple of seasons ago when the RFU kindly helped them erect a boar-proof fence around their pitches. This was to keep the boars out.

However, it can now be reported that it failed spectactularly with the arrival of the Clevedon "No Necks" boring team. They entered clubhouse through the unguarded door and bored the locals senseless with their oft-repeated jacketed stories of years ago.

Drybrook have now applied for another RFU grant to assist with the detection of BOFs. They're sure to be successful.

Read more here.

It's all over now...

23rd October 2017


In memory of Kevin Jackman...The heavy winds and torrential rain wreaked havoc in the peleton during the three days of the this seven man challenge. The intrepid bunch battled on despite the adverse conditions and could be found alive and well in Clevedon on Sunday. Well done you tenacious lot.

They have exceeded their sponsorship target, which is fab. If you would like to donate, please go to their Just Giving page to do so.

The Shining Wit's Forum Week 7

Chairman's Chirps

23nd October 2017

"Error of my ways"

Apologies for lack of communication last week. No excuses really, and the error of my ways has been kindly pointed out by the editor.

On the playing front, a bit of a mixed bag really. We are struggling with playing numbers and finding it difficult to field three adult men's teams and a Colts team in the same week.

The 1st XV are still striving to put that second win on the board, but have a couple of tough weeks with the loss last week to Drybrook and the visit of Exeter Students next. The lads are putting in the effort and the final score again did not reflect the game. On a wet, windy and inclement day we lost to a good side from "the Forest". The "not so Dry"brook knew they had been in a game and a few of their supporters were complimentary with their views of our young side. Keep it up boys, I'm sure it will happen for us eventually.

The 3rd team had the better success with a good win at the Vale against Winscombe. Keep up the sterling work guys. Is promotion a possibility?

The ladies suffered a narrow loss to Thornbury, but the more the Ladies play the better they get. Making improvements week on week is tremendous girls. Looking forward to your first game at the Vale next month.

On the social side, the Club is flourishing. After a soaking and rinsing endured up at Drybrook the No Necks and Cobweb Corner got back to the clubhouse in good spirits as the team had put in a good shift. Looking to have a quiet pint and put the world to rights, some were disappointed to see a band setting up, complete with a mixing desk! This could only mean loud music. Not to some of the old and bolds' taste. For those that stayed in the club, it was a good evening. Although not one for quiet discussion. Some of the Cheesies were also seen making somewhat of a hasty retreat. Not so for Trev who was determined to see off a bottle of vodka he had won I the raffle. For those that hung around, we were again spoiled by the front row dancing team showing us some of their moves. Who needs "Strictly" on a Saturday night?

Again, on Sunday, the Cheesies normally sedate afternoon cheese tasting was broken up by the ladies returning from their game in high spirits despite their defeat. A boisterous and lively afternoon ensued completed by a Sunday lunch prepared by the Ladies and their coaching team. Great to see a good crowd enjoying themselves on what is usually a quiet day. Nice one ladies.

Last but not least, a BZ must go to the intrepid cycling team for their determination in atrocious conditions, cycling from West Ham's new ground to the Liberty Stadium. Not sure how much you guys raised but well done to you all and your support team. I am sure the Big Cheese, Martin Boldison will enlighten us with a few dits from the trip.

Well done...Webmaster please note: BZ is used in naval and NATO circles, usually as semaphore, flag-hoist or morse to pass on a 'well done'. With your naval connections, I thought you would recognise the acronym!

Foxtrot Oscar Chirps

Onlooker's View

22nd October 2017

"Cauliears and Cashless"

Another trip into The Forest with the usual suspects on board. The coach trip showed Chairman Jim fast asleep after a late night in Plymouth and an early trip back for the 11:30 departure. The man with cauliears and the well defined paunch had to listen to Chalkie the Cashless about cricket and the travails of Arsenal. Cruncher kept asking me to repeat things, because I was on his deaf side. Weave was the perfect gentleman, because he was dozing as was the President who was slyly kipping all the way toDrybrook.

On arrival we old men rushed into the bar to be bought a drink by the welcoming Drybrook committee, although the caulieared fellow was not keen on the beer, which I and everyone else enjoyed. Instead, he got stuck into the sandwiches and didn't stop until kick off - what a surprise.

Once back in the clubhouse Cauliears and Cashless did runners leaving the Chair, Pres and snappers to buy their own drinks and listen to the band that had squatted on half the clubhouse floor. It was very loud, so I left in time to watch Strictly - what a treat.


The Cheesies

24th October 2017

"Tales from the saddle"

Unfortunately there aren't many tales from the saddle other than to say the boys done good.

There's been enough said abpout the playing side for now, but off the pitch the cheesy boys have been continuing to worship the smelly blue veiner stuff. With Tugboat "Dairylea" Hancock in full training for his epic cycle ride from West Ham to Swansea, which he completed in just 3 days, he was granted a dispensation to consume the foil wrapped slimy triangles in order to boost his performance. We can only assume in the saddle and nothing to do with his other favourite pastime, skittles.

Our very own El Presidente Mr Thomas seemed to be rather confused on his return from Drybrook on Saturday, along with the remainder of the gang of four --He with luxurious flowing locks, the bloke with glasses, ears and no teeth and our globe-trotting Chairman. On arrival back on home turf the senior admitted to pestering sales assistants in Tesco in his forlorn quest to find a supply of "The powerful Welsh Collier". We assume he meant the very tasty Welsh Cheddar Cheese, and not some long lost wandering Welsh coal miner!!! He appeared crestfallen when advised he should have gone to Costco not Tesco. Good luck in your search Mike.

Good luck to the boys on the pitch this weekend. More stinky, mouldy, cheesy news next week.

Drybrook 35 Clevedon 5

21st October 2017

"Drybrook was anything but..."

Team: J.Tucker, M.Parslow, T.Thie, C.Maslen, D.Burns, A.Cole, M.Fisher, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Foley, C.Tucker, G.Carpenter.
Replacements: J.Crew, B.Stone, J.Crichton. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker

Blaise lurking in the background...

The coach journey up to The Forest was a very windy, but dry affair and the coach driver had a hard time of it trying to keep the bus in straight line. By the time we reached Drybrook, the wind had strengthened and the rain was sheeting down. Needless to say, most people weren't equipped for the foul weather and couldn't wander around keeping up with play. Fortunately, there was a sheltered standing area along the bottom touchline, but meant they were tethered to one spot in the crowded shelter.

They would've been too far away to see Clevedon's only try, which was scored in the far corner away from them. This intrepid writer was there to see Blaise Bosley driving over from all of two feet. He looked askance at the referee, wondering if his score was legal. It was, but with the conversion missed in the swirling wind, the celebrations were short lived.

Clevedon's lead lasted eight minutes as Drybrook's consistent team selection paid dividends for them. Clevedon battled hard, but were up against it in the second half playing into the teeth of Storm Brian and against a hard running Drybrook team who deserved their victory.

Entry to the game was a couple of quid for us oldies, which included a programme - a lot cheaper than anyone else in the league.

Due to an administrative glich, the Clevedon team in the programme was completely different from the one selected for this game. There were only four players in the team who featured in that programme and emphasises the selection nightmare that coach Hill faces every week.

Read the Drybrook report here.

Next week, Clevedon are at home to Exeter University, (who seem to be doing a Hartpury) for a 15:00 kick off with the lunch at 14:00. The seconds are away to Bath Old Edwardians.

This week in 2016

22nd October 2016

WSM 29 Clevedon 23

"Battle of the Seasiders"

Team: T.Thie, M.Lowis, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, H.Butland, K.Hill, A.Vailes, B.Largenton, M.Honour, B.Bosley, T.Statton, W.Trollope, H.Foley, R.Biggins, H.Russell(c). Replacements: G.Carpenter, C.Maslen, J.Ford. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: N.Tucker. Physio: G.Davis. Referee: (Somerset Society)

Alan Crane: Brian Largenton scores the opening try...Clevedon had to reorganise their pack after captain Owen Biggins injured his arm at work and was unable to play in this local derby.

It must have been frustrating for him having to watch a dominant (if you ignore the opening minute WSM try!) Clevedon first half display.

This domination was finally rewarded by prop Brian Largenton's try just before half time, which increased Clevedon's lead for a halftime 9-16 lead.

A couple of minutes into the second half and WSM had clawed back 3 more points. Undaunted, Clevedon hit back with another converted try by hooker Matt Honour to lead 8-23 with half an hour to go.

At this stage and from the resulting restart in Clevedon's 22, WSM used their gincoeros pack to win a penalty try, after ten minutes of scrummaging. The penny finally dropped for the home side and they repeated their ploy for another try converted try after a Clevedon yellow. It's fair to say that the WSM backs didn't get much of a look in after that and basked in the late afternoon sunshine while their pack won the game for them.

Read more here.

Are you sitting comfortably?

19th October 2017

"Then we'll begin"

The trek begins...On a grey, wet and dismal morning in Stratford, the seven intrepid cyclists have fuelled up for the first stage of their 220 mile trek to Newbury.

Hancock, Richards and Haliburton can be seen smiling and seemingly keen to get on with it with the promise of a nice warm bath at the end of the day.

With the weather deteriorating over the next three days, they'll be glad they did all those extra miles in training - you did, didn't you?

Ready, Steady... GO!

Charity bike ride

18th October 2017

"West Ham to Swansea"

Lovely weather for training...At 08:00 on Thursday 19th October, seven magnificent, hardy cyclists will set out from West Ham United's ground in Stratford for a 3 day, 220 mile journey to Swansea City's Liberty Stadium ground. It looks like a punishing schedule, which can be found here:

The Magnificent Seven are Peter Hancock, Tony Donkin, Chris Williams, Chris Haliburton, Mark Richards, Tim Crisp and Tim Brooks.

If you would like to donate and find out more about this epic, once in a lifetime bike ride then please visit their fund-rasing page here.

There will be updates as when they get the time to post them during the ride.

Good luck to you all.

The Cheesies

18th October 2017

"Smoggy does Swansea"

Martin "Le Grande Fromage" Boldison is one of two drivers, the other being Steve "Sparky" Parker, chaperoning the seven cyclists doing the charity bike ride. No doubt Smoggy will have some fine anecdotes for his next cheesy news next week and maybe a picture or two of the trip.

Hopefully, they'll get them home safely on Sunday morning.


Chairman's Chirps

18th October 2017

"Not a cheep out of him"

Chirping Jimmy...Obviously with no game last weekend, the Chairman has nothing to chirp about, but there must be other news surely? Maybe the pink stuff he's drinking has affected him.

This is an unusual occurrence, because Jimmy's not usually so reticent. Perhaps the pressures and anxieties of high office have robbed him of the will to chirp. Let's hope not.

Chirping will resume next week.

Clevedon 10 Cullompton 31

7th October 2017

"Scratching their heads"

Team: T.Thie, M.Parslow, B.Williams, C.Maslen, T.Willis, M, A.Cole, J.Williams, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, D.Rawle, O.Jones, H.Foley, H.Russell, A.Davis .
Replacements: W.Trollope, B.Stone, C.Tucker. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker

Clevedon on a high!...

This was definitely not a game for the neutrals. They would've seen an error strewn match from both sides and would've wondered what on earth thirty blokes were doing on a grey old day in Clevedon. It was retaining possession that's for sure!

This week in 2016

8th October 2016

Clevedon 67 Chard 5

"Chard burnt at The Vale"

Team: T.Thie, B.Williams, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, H.Butland, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, J.Ford, B.Bosley, T.Statton, W.Trollope, H.Foley, R.Biggins, O.Biggins(c). Replacements: G.Carpenter, C.Maslen, M.Honour. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: N.Tucker. Physio: G.Davis. Referee: (Bristol Society)

Kev Weaver: Ben Williams runs try number five...Former Clevedon President, Chairman and Captain Richard Newton (on the right) watches young Ben Williams on his way to a try, in the latest game at The Vale 60 years after he first played there.

Read more here.

The Shining Wit's Forum Week 6

Chairman's Chirps

9th October 2017

"Not qualified to comment"

This should be a short one from me. Having not been at the Cully game I do not feel qualified to comment on it, but from all I have spoken to, the result did not reflect the game. The difference being that they took the majority of their chances and we did not.

Although not much to cheer about on the pitch, we do seem to be doing quite well on the bar and catering front. Well done Martyn the Bar Steward and his crew and well done to all the male and female for punters putting their hard earned into the Club.

I did however, hear some chuntering from various factions, Cobweb Corner and some of the No Necks being included, for Doom Bar to have permanent status in the bar.

...Come on Martyn, you could improve your popularity no end if you gave the members what they wanted and you could give them a black eye for being so militant.

Curly top...A big shout to the duty barman on Saturday, who has changed his hairstyle from short-back-and-sides to a curly wurly top-knot and go no end of stick from everyone - Weave, buy your son a hat!.

More beery, cheery, chirpy-wirpy news next week.

Onlooker's View

7th October 2017

"Very smart indeed"

Well another defeat, but the supporters seem upbeat and willing to support the youngsters and the coaching staff.

It was noted that the chairman was absent, but did arrive in time to see Clevedon's only try - could we have won if he'd watched the whole match ?.

At least this week was a success in one way. The clumsy oaf (own up - who are you?) who had tried to wind in the rope for the past two weeks did not try again this and therefore, the professionals put it away unharmed.

Some how we fielded four teams this week, which is a first for a very long time. The bar obviously profited from this, so long may it continue.

Later on in the clubhouse, Nick Hill was spotted with his adorable wife who was looking as elegant as ever. Nick was attired in a modern day sports jacket, proving that he does have something else to wear apart from the club polo shirt. Very smart indeed.

Goodbye everyone

The Cheesies

10th October 2017

"Ivor the Engine"

Well the action on the pitch wasn't much to write an essay about last Saturday, and it has to be said that the action off the pitch wasn't far behind!!

Ivor the Engine...By far the best move of the weekend was a brilliant blind side surge from some Welsh geezer who appears to have adopted the same name as a cartoon train - Ivor the Engine by all accounts. It was enough to send an Ivor Tingle down the cheese club members' spines as the non-member swooped and hoovered up a mouthful of the assorted curds left open and vulnerable on the table top.

There was however a fleeting moment of panic on his face as he realised he had also munched into one of the fiery hot chilli onions on display, which appeared to turn his mouth into something resembling the firebox on his puffer train.

At least our most diminutive member has returned from the Emerald Isle, which should improve the Guinness sales and liven up proceedings going forward - Welcome back Paddy.

There will be a new cheese making a guest appearance this coming weekend, which should interest him and our Chairman. It's just arrived from across the channel and is currently stinking out Smoggies smeggie fridge. You'll probably smell it before you see it. Let's hope it puts the Welsh bloke off too!!

More Smeggodon news next week.

An evening with Sean Fitzpatrick

14th October 2016

Sean Fitzpatrick Dinner...

A great opportunity to spend an evening in the presence of an All Black Legend. Would be good to get a Clevedon RFC presence at this local event.

Contact Chairman Jim McVeigh if you're interested at Tickets can also be bought direct from Concierge

You can also find Jim in the clubhouse during the week, surrounded by the Cheesy Dips.

Come in No. 7

9th October 2016

I don't suppose many people have noticed the absence of the number seven shirt. This has been the case since the first two minutes of the first game against Okehampton when flanker Joe Ford went of injured after dislocating a shoulder.

No. 7 Joe Ford...As he left the pitch on his way to hospital some callous, heartless and unfeeling individual in the crowd shouted after him "Don't let them cut the shirt off, it's brand new!".

The advice was heard by the unfortunate Joe, but the subsequent gas and air left him unable to speak coherently and the amazing A&E staff cut it off, right up the front.

Thankfully, Joe is recovering and will be for most of the season, but the seven shirt will not be and won't be seen on the pitch again, ever.

Missing Balls

9th October 2016

The Scout hut end is taking it's toll.

No one taps the ball over any more and consequently they end up over the fence in the brambles, never to be seen again.

Sometimes they clear both the Scout hut and the adjoining land and more than likely ending up on a lorry going down Kenn Road.

If you spot a ball that looks forlorn and lonely, please return it to Jeff Durant who will put it back into his ball incubator.

If you'd like to sponsor a ball and donate it to the Scouts, please contact Jim McVeigh at the clubhouse.

The Shining Wit's Forum Week 5

Chairman's Chirps

30th September 2017

"Wrongly accused"

A fine body of Former RM...I don't think I am qualified to comment on the Thornbury game as I could not make it due to a prior, arranged engagement in Gibraltar last weekend.

However, I have heard reports that we were pretty unlucky not to come away with a win. All in all I believe we are making progress and we are not far off that second win.

Chris Sirrett took the photo. A shadow of his former self...Having just read the last issue of the Shining Wit's Forum, I strongly refute the accusation that any collusion has taken place. Perhaps that lovely, long haired and delightful webmaster is mistaken with his accusations, but I am sure he is up to no good. I'll leave it at that as I do not want to get into a literary battle with said ne'er-do-well.

Ed. Perhaps, collusion was the wrong word - should've used plagiarised instead and attributed the bootlegging of the text to The Onlooker, whose report was the last to arrive.

Roll on next week with another home game, which I may not be able to attend due to Bristol Rugby deciding to ostracize most of the local rugby fraternity by deciding to play some games on Saturdays this season!

Rant over, have a good week. It's back to the recovery position for me.

More cheery, chirpy news next week.

Onlooker's View

30th September 2017

"Patience is a virtue"

I thought the game was in the bag after an early lead, but there we are, I do get it wrong sometimes, just like the time I'd forgotten I'd already bought a round and bought another, way back '67.

We missed our leader today as he was playing with the monkeys in Gibraltar and watching some Corps rugby event. He'll no doubt return with tales of daring-do and lack of sleep.

There are some great club members who put the club first, an example being John Harvey, aka Mr Funcity, who won the lunchtime bottle of whiskey, but put it back to be drawn again next week. Pesronally, I don't think he likes the stuff.

The bar was very busy after the game with Martyn the Bar Steward working flat out with a skeleton staff, but the bloke with the ears, no teeth and glasses could not wait to be served, so he departed. He should have done what Mr.crane did - be patient sit down and wait.

Great to see Terry Harris back in the fold after getting permission from his injured wife and said he would only stay for quick one (I mean drink of course) if needed. He was still there when I left at 20:00. Well done Terry.

I look forward to next week with a win on the board, which I'm sure Nick and Rufus will be pleased with.

More insight next week.

The Cheesies

30th September 2017

"Port sampling season"

As reported last week, we shall shortly be entering the Port sampling season, commencing on the 14th October. Martyn the Bar Steward has already started stocking up on supplies, so if anyone wants to start and warm up early, please feel free to do so.

Chickened out...The Carolina Reaper chilli made another appearance on the cheese table on Saturday, with "He of thick flowing locks" Cruncher Crane threatening to take a bite!! Needless to say he chickened it at the last moment. Even the bloke with the ears, no teeth and glasses wasn't interested in having a nibble -- maybe he's just off his food!!

Dorset Naga chilli_onions...Some very tasty Dorset Naga chilli onions put in an appearance, courtesy of Smoggies trip to sunny Dorset.These were enjoyed by all who were brave enough to sample their delicate flavour.

Our illustrious Chairman's absence from proceedings was noted, although he did put in an appearance on Sunday following his return from yet another globe-trotting trip where he was no doubt brushing up on his survival skills - Ray Mears eat your heart out. Rough, tough hard to muff though he is, he still wouldn't try the onions - pussy!!

Home again this week, let's hope for a better outcome and some really ripe curds.

More Smeggie news next week.

Clevedon 19 Thornbury 25

30th September 2017

"Cool heads needed"

Team: T.Willis, T.Thie, B.Williams, C.Maslen, J.Tucker, A.Cole, A.Vailes, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, R,Biggins, O.Biggins, D.Rawle.
Replacements: B.Stone, J.Vickers, W.Taylor. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker

Joey Tucker scores...

Clevedon could've won this home given a bit more patience and a littles less petulance. Hey ho, that's the way it goes when you have a new mix of old and new players. Things will settle down soon and Clevedon will be moving higher up the league to avoid to the relegation battle and a few panic attacks from the old timers.

Next Saturday, Clevedon 1st Xv are at home to Cullompton for a 15:00 kick off nad preceded by a lunch at 14:00. The 2nd XV are away to Keynsham.

An evening with Sean Fitzpatrick

Sean Fitzpatrick Dinner...A great opportunity to spend an evening in the presence of an All Black Legend. Would be good to get a Clevedon RFC presence at this local event.

Contact Chairman Jim McVeigh if you're interested at Tickets can also be bought direct from Concierge

You can also find Jim in the clubhouse during the week, surrounded by the Cheesy Dips.

This week in 2016

1st October 2016

Kingsbridge 16 Clevedon 16

Team: T.Thie, M.Taylor, A.Rice, C.Maslen, H.Butland, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, J.Ford, J.Lugtig, T.Statton, W.Trollope, R.Biggins, H.Russell, O.Biggin(c). Replacements: L.Appleby, B.Bosley, H.Foley. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: N.Tucker. Physio: G.Davis. Referee: Nick Heath (Somerset Society)

Alan Crane: Aaron Rice chips through to score...Throughout this game Clevedon just had the edge, but couldn't quite break down the home defence. An opportunistic drop goal from Kieran Hill after 6 minutes, who somehow picked the ball off his boots, saw the ball squeeze in by the righthand post from 25 yards for a 0-3 lead.

Next week, Clevedon are at home to Chard. The lunch is at 13:30 and the kick off off is at 15:00.The seconds are away to Bristol Harlequins for a 15:00 kick off.

Hill Climb

1st October 2016

This is nothing to do with coach Hill or his son. It is about survival of the fittest.

One of Kingsbridge's best kept secrets for coach travelling away teams is the last quarter of a mile to the clubhouse. Coaches have to park at the bottom of the hill due to a narrow road and 20% hairpin half way up and categorized by The Tour as a CAT 1 climb.

Harris & McVeigh struggle on...The intrepid old boys who travelled with the players were left to their own devices and faced the daunting trek on their own. Messr's Thomas, Harris, Potts and McVeigh started out together, but finished in ascending order of age - McVeigh, Potts, Harris, and Thomas.

The incentive for them all was to get past the entrance before the gate keeper arrived, which they did, leaving enough dosh to buy a refreshing pint.

Thank goodness they all survived - going home in a body bag would have been a bit disappointing and bad for morale.

Read more here.

Bridgwater 41 Clevedon 22

23rd September 2017

"Just a bonus point"

Team: T.Thie, D.Burns, B.Williams, C.Maslen, M.Fisher, A.Cole, J.Williams, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Russell, H.Foley, A.Davis.
Replacements: J.Crewe, W.Taylor, J.Crichton. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker

Harvey Russell scores the third try...

I was instructed by a few absent older types, with grey hair and beer bellies that they would like some text updates during the match.

As the scoreline would suggest, I was kept busy and and had plenty of time to type, while waiting for the conversions.

Here they are for your enjoyment.

15:04 Cameron yellow after 2, tip tackle
15:10 Missed penalty after 10
15:18 Held up on line, hanging on, penalty. Play on half way
15:18 7-0, missed tackle in centres
15:22 12 0 from cross field kick, missed a couple of first up tackles
15:23 Passes not going to hand from restart that Harley won.scrum on bridgy 10
15:30 12-5
15:34 One missed penalty 20 yards out 12-5 still
15:41 12-10 5 yard scrum, shove, number 8 easy conversion missed by replacement kicker Thie
15:42 HT 12-10
15:51 2 mins gone and now19-10. Missed first up tackles again.
15:58 26-10, usual bad stuff
16:03 Just got worse. A poor kick by bridgy, midfielder by winger ,quick throw in and 31-10
16:09 Good news, now 31-15, Harvey from close range scrum
16:09 20 mins to go
16:12 34-15, penalty front of posts
16:27 4 scrums and eventually scored 34-22
16:27 Bonus point
16:30 41- 22, that's the losing bonus point gone that we could have got
16:35 FT 41-22

The game was enjoyable because it was so open and unintentionally loose from both sides, which seems to be the pattern in the league. Bonus points are king and with 42 already scored in four rounds of the league, it promised to be a roller coaster ride for the remainder of the season.

Next week, Clevedon 1st XV are at home to Thornbury for a 15:00 kick off, preceded by the usual lovely lunch. The 2nd XV are away to Old Sulians for a 15:00 kick off.

Leave early to avoid the triffic traffic.

Kate Alder - Wasps Ladies Captain

Kate Alder - Captain of Wasps Ladies...Clevedon Kate is Captain of Wasps Ladies and proud dad Trev went up to Hartpury to watch her play. His report mentioned the words "they was robbed", which was probably a true statement from the gnarly old timer, beacuse he knows his stuff having captained Clevedon way back in 1986.

What a huge honour it is for the club and her proud family to see Kate captaining one the top premier division sides.

That's my girl!

This week in 2016

24th September 2016

Clevedon 27 Bideford 3

Team: T.Thie, M.Taylor, B.Williams, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, M.Taylor, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, J.Ford, B.Bosley,T.Statton, W.Trollope, R.Biggins, H.Russell, O.Biggin(c). Replacements: L.Appleby, J.Lugtig, H.Foley. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: J.Durant. Physio: G.Davis. Referee: Ellis Davies (Liverpool Society)

Kev Weaver: Rory Biggins scores the first...A shell shocked Bideford left Clevedon wondering how they managed to lose and not score a try in the process.

The "60 Years at The Vale" celebrations were a boost for Clevedon who had a larger and more vociferous crowd than usual to support them. A bonus point win was the fourth game in a row that had gained some points, which bodes well for the rest of the season.

Next week, Clevedon are away to promoted Kingsbridge with the coach leaving at 11:00 sharp. Only five pounds for supporters. The seconds have a home game against Castle Cary for a 15:00 kick off.

Lookalike Competition

24th September 2016

Weave and MikeThis week the Clevedon clubhouse was celebrating "60 Years at The Vale" and had a lookalike competition to add to the fun. The competition was won by these two gentlemen. They didn't take to kindly to being compared with a disgraced former Aussie and for the record, stated that their wobble-boards were still in pristine condition, thank you very much!

Other lookalikes that entered were an Uncle Fester (Pottsy), several Weebles (Col, Higgy, Jimmy, and Papa), one Santa Claus (Fordie) and a boyband wannabe (Crunch).

Weave and Mike

Read more here.

The Shining Wit's Forum - Week 4

Chairman's Chirps

23rd September 2017

"Lovechild's repartee and wit"

Unfortunately, another loss on the road, which again, can be put down to poor tackling. The forwards dominated possession, the scrum on top all afternoon, but the lineout was not as clinical as it has been. Probably the less said the better.

President Thomas could not be consoled...Mike T. provided the transport for a few of us down to Bridgwater and all were in high spirits on the way there. Cannot say the same for the trip back. We did not stay for a beer, El Presidente could not be consoled and not much conversation ensued. He did cheer up a bit though after a Butcombe or two back in the Clubhouse.

An appetizing buffet was provided by our hosts, which the tall bloke with glasses and the ears made the most of. His name has slipped my mond. but he did pay several visits to the buffet table.

During the feasting, we were entertained by the "lovechild's" repartee and wit. Undoubtedly, the highlight of the day.

Onlooker's View

28th September 2017

"Who is the Lovechild"

It has become apparent that The Chirpy Chairman and the Onlooker travelled in the same car. Thay have obviously colluded about what to write and as the Onlooker report was last to desk, I'll leave his report verbatim.

Well another defeat on the road. The trip back from Bridgwater in the car was subdued. The chairman asked the president to stop sulking. It was different going down the M5 as the car load were happy with Chalky coming in with his cricket comments, although it is out of season.

Pottsy was pleased that we were being fed and went back for second helpings, but so did I.

We were entertained by our old friend Mike Berry and had a chat about the past. We came to the conclusion that things ain't what they used to be.

Anyway, back at the Vale we all drowned our sorrows and Chalky bought us a round. Well done Chalky.

From this series of stories and for you ameteur sleuths out there, you should be able to determine who the "Lovechild" is, who the "tall bloke with glasses and the ears" is and who the Onlooker is. From that you should also be able to deduce who the driver was, who the chairman is and how many people were in the car and who doesn't buy around very often.

Answers on a postcard please, addressed to the clubhouse.

The Cheesies

23rd September 2017

"The Reaper Cometh"

A very hot chilli...An unexpected appearance on Saturdays cheese board was made by the Carolina Reaper chilli. Until very recently, this fiery little devil was rated the worlds hottest chilli.

Needless to say, there were no Cheese Club members willing to munch into its furnace like, seed filled flesh. However, the young Mr Sulley did put a whole one into his home made chilli con carne, which the ever adventurous Trev Alder sampled. He was later heard to comment "That were a right hot ring stinger that were, me babber", eyes looking rather bloodshot!!!

Port sampling will be commence on 14th October with Martyn on bar steward supplying a list of potential juicy bottles to consider.

That's all from sunny Dorset for now. Got to get back to my blue veiner, sorry, meant blue vinney.

More Smeggie news next week.

Clevedon 53 Bideford 31

16th September 2017

"Big win at The Vale "

Team: T.Thie, J.Tucker, B.Williams, C.Maslen, M.Fisher, A.Cole, J.Williams, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, H.Russell, H.Foley, A.Davis.
Replacements: J.Crewe, W.Taylor, M.Winter. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker

Ben Williams seals victory...

What a time to get dragged away to Dorset to celebrate your wife's birthday - a game not to be missed, but I missed it.

As the text commentary from photographer Pete kept pinging through to me on the Lyme Regis beach, I was getting more and more frustrated that I wasn't there. It was made worse by the mobile signal dropping out completely with score at 36-31 and it wasn't until I returned to civilisation (the campsite) that I eventually found out the final stupendous scoreline. Grrrrr!

This result will perk everyone up a bit and with a local derby against old rivals Bridgwater away next week, it will do wonders for the confidence, both on and off the field.


19th September 2017

Six Nations 2018 - SOLD OUTDue to unprecedented demand, the Club's allocation of Six Nations tickets has been SOLD OUT.

Many thanks, Jim McVeigh

This week in 2016

17th September 2016

Thornbury 15 Clevedon 9

Team: H.Butland, T.Thie, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, M.Taylor, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, J.Ford, B.Bosley, W.Trollope, L.Appleby, H.Foley, H.Russell, O.Biggin(c). Replacements: T.Statton, J.Lugtig, R.Biggins. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: N.Tucker. Physio: G.Davis. Referee: Craig Pocock (Bristol Society)

Kev Weaver: The bonus point penalty...Two 9-15 scorelines in three weeks have netted Clevedon two losing bonus points, which in seasons gone by would've been cherished.

Both these games have a lot in common besides the scoreline. They were both away and tryless with Clevedon dominating large periods of each game. They came up against resolute and robust defences. Finished both games strongly, each time going for the winning try and within the five metre zone when the whistle blew. Oh!... and Tucks was on the flag!

The home game last week against Teignmouth showed how clinical Clevedon can be and this is something that coach Hill will be looking at during training this week to ensure a home victory against Bideford.

Read more here.

The Shining Wit's Forum Week 3

Chairman's Chirps

16th September 2017

"Trevor looks nice"

Apparently, Mr Potts is getting too much attention and a request has been put forward to leave him alone for a while. So, no remarks about this senior citize - for now anyway.

What a game it was on Saturday. First win of the season and well deserved too. May it be the first of many.

Bideford came to the Vale undefeated and probably expected an easier encounter than what ensued. Superb attacking rugby from both sides providing excellent entertainment for us spectators. Still a few missed tackles, but a great improvement. Lots of smiling faces in the Clevedon camp after that performance. Roll on next week at Bridgwater.

Well done to the No Necks that were in attendance this week, but a few were AWOL for this one. Most noticeable was "the one who has a neck, but disguises the fact with his flowing locks". The volume of encouragement for the lads from the touchline was not at its usual level. Let's hope for a better turnout for our visit to Bridgy.

Cobweb Corner were up to their usual boisterous antics. But what happens at the Vale stays at the Vale. After his afternoon nap, Mr T let his hair down as "Babe Ruth" was not in attendance.

Blazered Trev AlderOne of the Big Cheesies must also get a mention, Trev Alder sporting his Clevedon blazer. First outing for Trev's colours for quite a while. Did the sight of Trev adorned in his best bib and tucker encourage the 1st XV to put in that sterling performance. Essential for Trev to air it again next Saturday at Bridgwater.

It is also rumoured, though not substantiated, that a large balding man with glasses and cauliflower ears bought two, yes two, rounds of drinks on Saturday. Can anyone vouch for this fact? Is there any photographic evidence as none of our usual photographers were present.

Clevedon's Alex GiltrowBristol eventually put in an 80 minute performance on Sunday resulting in a big win against Richmond, with one of our own Alex Giltrow making his 1st team debut. Well done Gilly.

A respectable weekend all round!

More Chippy Chirping Chairman news next week.

The Cheesies

16th September 2017

"Slimy foily triangles"

The much maligned cheesy triangleThe previously reported rumour of a Cheese Club member being fond of those slimy, foil wrapped cheese triangles, appears to be just the corner of a giant cheese wedge. There seems to be an epidemic of members 'coming out' and declaring their fondness for this illicit product.

In response, the inner sanctum are contemplating harsh action against this rebellious mob, with the use of a large portion of Stinking Bishop or even an extra large Blue Veiner being considered as correctional action to restore the status quo.

On another note, we shall shortly be entering the Port sampling season. An extended tasting period is planned for this year in an attempt to keep the consumption down to just 2 bottles in a tasting session, rather than the usual 3 or 4. This should afford Cheese Club members a better chance of remembering what the hell they drank the night before and awarding a suitable score to each sampled bottle. Their impeccable taste marks will of course be made available to the general Club membership in time for Christmas purchase.Anyway, away to sunny Bridgewater this weekend, let's hope the boys produce something special. A piece of Gruyere would be nice, pan fried in eggy bread with a maple syrup and pancetta filling!!! Sounds LOVELY.

More Smeggie news next week.

Onlooker's View

16th September 2017

"Rope tangler hunted"

Many a pint was downed after this first win.

The foghorn voice of Cruncher Crane was missing to the glee of the spectators. Also missing was the flashing of Kev Weaver's camera. Novice Peter Bath took over the flashing duties and his results can be found here - judge for yourself.

Peter Hand won the bottle of port, but did not follow standard procedure and share it with Cobweb corner at half time, so he'll ostracised for the rest of the season.

Chairman, Jim Mcveigh left the celebrating throng in a rather distrssed state having to go to a party and unable to have a drink - bad arranging Jim.

We would like to know who the person was that tried to wind in the rope and cocked it up, leaving Colin Davies and Mike Thomas to unravel it with the aid of Geoff Warren the famous Television Match Official. If you could rewind the tape to find out who the rope tangler was Geoff, there's a pint in it for you.

More ramblings next week.

Teignnmouth 55 Clevedon 24

9th September 2017

"A difficult afternoon in Devon"

Team: J.Tucker, M.Fisher, B.Williams, C.Maslen, T.Thie, A.Cole, R.Talbot, B.Largenton, M.Honour(c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, J.Crewe, W.Taylor, H.Foley.
Replacements: G.Carpenter, D.Burns, J.Crichton. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Flag: N.Tucker Ref: Stuart Read

Kev Weaver: Harley Farley on the charge...

Next week Clevedon firsts are at home to Bideford for a 15:00 kick off, preceded by a lunch at 14:00 The seconds have a free weekend.

This week in 2016

10th September 2016

Clevedon 38 Teignmouth 3

"A superb try fest"

Team: H.Butland, T.Thie, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, M.Taylor, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, J.Ford, B.Bosley, T.Statton, W.Trollope, L.Appleby, H.Foley, H.Russell(c). Replacements: C.Maslen, M.Honor, R.Biggins. Coach: N.Hill. Flag: J.Durant. Physio: G.Davis.

Kev Weaver: Blaise Bosley blazes his way through...After last season's defeat of Clevedon at The Vale, Teignmouth seemed to be in confident mood as they ran out thinking they would again cause an upset, especially after Clevedon's narrow defeat last week.

Read more here.

The Shining Wit's Forum

Chairman's Chirps

9th September 2017

"Sleepy Heads"

We travelled down to Teignmouth with a youthful looking side but with some optimism of getting something from this fixture. An early start at 1100 which proved to be prudent with the amount of traffic heading south on the M5. The weather was changeable to say the least. Hopefully, so would our fortunes.

Photographer Weave snoozin'

A couple of the travelling support could not contain their excitement of the trip south though.

The pre-match meal was a flavoursome chicken curry provided by our hosts. Unfortunately, even with the offer of free beer, Pottsy could not be convinced to eat any of "that foreign muck" and he settled for a sizable portion of chips. A few dits were swapped with Teignmouth members and so on to the match.

On taking to the field, the Clevedon side looked young and slighter in stature compared to the home side but held their own in the set piece. The scrum went well and we managed to pinch a fair amount of opposition ball at the lineout. Regrettably, our tackling let us down again and the final score of 55 - 24 did not do us justice, but on the plus side, we came away with 4 try bonus point. An improvement on last week, so onwards and upwards.

Photographer Pottsy snoozin'

The boys were in buoyant mood on the trip back, with an impromptu cheese and wine function at the back of the bus, accompanied by a fair amount of crooning from the rear. On return to the Clevedon clubhouse, the Seasiders teams consoled each other as both they both came off second best but nevertheless, an enjoyable evening ensued. Later on in the proceedings we were entertained royally by the forwards Strictly Dance Team.

Keep it up guys and with a smidgeon of luck we may get our first win next week.

To end on a high note the girls under 15s had a good win against our local rivals Nailsea. Good effort girls. Long may it continue.

More Chirping Chairman news next week.

The Cheesies

9th September 2017

"Alternative Dieting"

Members enjoyed a quiet start to the new season, with just some of the usual old staples of VINTAGE Cheddar and MATURE Stilton on the board.

These cheesy adjectives aptly describing the average age of most curdled whey club members. However, a new version of a Welsh Rarebit was unveiled on Saturday as Dennet finally decided to get a round in (at the bar, not of cheese!!) though no video or photographic evidence has been forthcoming of that major event!!

On Sunday, the members went all continental and for the first time sampled a Swiss concoction called Vacherin Fribourgeois. This was moderately popular with the members, more than one of whom likened it to "tasting like Dairylea cheese triangles" - No accounting for taste eh?

This leads us on to the whispers from an unnamed source who has revealed that a current Cheese Club member has been dabbling with those foil wrapped, slimy triangular things!! This same source has indicated an internal disciplinary may be on the cards. More may become apparent later in the month.

New members of the cheese club are always welcome, however, there are some quite stringent membership criteria to meet in order to be accepted into the masonic like inner circle.

  1. 1. Must have a cholesterol reading on entry above 5
  2. 2. Statins are a compulsory requirement
  3. 3. All potential members must be able to consume a minimum of half kilogramme of creamy Stilton, half a large pork pie and wash it down with 2 large glasses of Port all in under 20 minutes

PLEASE NOTE: Alternatively Stilton may be substituted with Roquefort (if you're brave enough)

Should Fordy wish to become a member all the above criteria are doubled in quantity, unless of course he is on his now famed diet?

We shall soon be moving into Port tasting season, but more Smeggie news soon on that next time.

Onlooker's View

9th September 2017

"Pottsy picked on again"

Well, the trip to Devon did not go well. It was an education going down on the bus to see Pottsy sleeping, what a sight for sore eyes.

When we stopped at Exeter Services we waited to see what he would buy to eat as he is renowned for his eating habits. He did not disappoint with a several "go Large" items in his carrier bag.

On arrival at Teignmouth, we were told that there was food for us. Pottsy's face lit up, but when he found out that it was curry he said "I don't like that", so that was a first.

The game was disappointing for the few supporters that turned up, but we made the most of it and Cruncher said if it rained we were welcome to sit in his camper van. What a nice man.

The day was over and we drank and relaxed in the club with Pottsy buying his round.

Well done the four of us who turned up on the coach and well done to those that travelled independently to watch their team.


Clevedon 17 Okehampton 34

2nd September 2017

"Coming of age"

Team: J.Tucker, M.Winter, B.Williams, C.Maslen,T.Thie, A.Cole, J.Williams, B.Largenton, M.Honour9c), B.Bosley, W.Trollope, O.Jones, J.Ford, H.Foley, H.Russell.
Replacements: A.Jones, J.Crewe, M.Fisher. Coaches: N.Hill/C.Heal Physio: G.Davis Flag: N.Tucker Ref: Craig Pocock

Kev Weaver: debutant Adam Cole scores his try...

"Adam Cole scores"

Putting these pages together involves a bit of cutting and pasting and then making minor adjustments to achieve the end result.

The usual things like date, opponent and scoreline are simples. The team usually need one or two changes and they would be copied from a stock list of players - easy.

However, this season wholesale changes to the list were needed. Two players from last season went on to higher things - Harry Butland went to Clifton and Kieran Hill went to Taunton. One player went back to his old club up the valley and five retired.

On the plus side though there are three new, very young players were added and the resulting team on Saturday was good old blend of youth and experience, from Captain and hooker Matt Honour (39) to fly half Adam Cole (17).

The whole team played and compteted well, but will need a little time together to get know each others foibles and habits before heading up the league again.

An interesting few weeks lie ahead for the watching supporters, that's for sure.

Next week Clevedon firsts are away to Teignmouth for a 15:00 kick off. The coach leaves at 11:00. The seconds are at home to Crewkerne for a 15:00 kick off.

This week in 2016

3rd September 2016

Okehampton 15 Clevedon 9

Team: H.Butland, B.Williams, A.Rice, D.Ashfield, M.Taylor, K.Hill, M.Lowis, B.Largenton, J.Ford, B.Bosley, W.Trollope, L.Appleby, H.Russell, O.Biggins(c), C.Maslen. Replacements: J.Puddy, W.Taylor, N.George. Coaches: N.Hill/C.HealFlag: N.Tucker. Physio: G.Davis.

Kev Weaver: Basher brought down to earth...A losing bonus point on the road was scant consolation for a game that Clevedon had a decent chance of winning. With all the possession they had and six nil up after 20 minutes Clevedon were in the driving seat. However, a penalty from half way, into the wind, from Okehampton soon afterwards kept them in touch with Clevedon. A half time score of 6-9 playing with the elements told the tale for Clevedon - not enough points on the board to defend with.

Read more here.

The Shining Wit's Forum - Contribute NOW!

Onlooker's View

2nd September 2017

"A fine hairy leg"

Well here we are again.

Another season begins and the members of Cobweb Corner are still alive and kicking. It's a bit debateable with Pottsy though, because he looks like death warmed up at the best of times and even manages to make his Uncle Fester look handsome. He's still here to tell the tale and probably the ones he told last year.

The blazer boys are back in town, with chairman Jim leading the way in his trendy baggy shorts and showing a fine hairy leg.

Watching the first game of the season was frustrating at times and the old tickers were being stressed to the limit.

Uncle Colin, having won the bottle of port passed it around, but did not offer any to an aging welshman. He has vowed to sort it out in the playground next week.

This week we are off to the seaside on the bus for a nice trip to Teignmouth. We're hoping watch to the game, but it depends on the pre-match activities.

More gossipy news next week.

The Cheesies

2nd September 2017

"Fancy high cholestrol?"

A quick update on recent events from the Cheese Club. Behind the scenes, they have been quietly munching their way through a variety of high fat delicacies during the off season.

This was to ensure they are fully prepared and that cholesterol levels are at a peak for what promises to be a challenging season both on the field and on the cheeseboard.

During the off season and in an effort to get fit for the challenges of season ahead, these stalwarts of the club put life and limb on the line to take on some of the finest "skittlers" in town in the Clevedon RFC Summer Skittles League. Under the guise of "The Cheeselets" they ventured onto the hallowed boards of the clubs skittle alley to face all comers.

Expectations were high for an opening game win. However, crushing defeats in the first two games soon had their morale at a low ebb.

This was not helped by opposition skittlers referring to them as "The Quavers!!"

How anybody could mistake these fine gentlemen for them cheesy puffs just beggars belief!!!

This name calling and barracking seemed to be widespread among the teams, but under the dynamic and inspirational leadership of their Captain, Martin 'Smoggie' Boldison, the team rose Phoenix like from the ashes of defeat to push up the table and press hard for the title. Eventually though only achieving a mid-table finish in this their first season.

The team are determined to return next year and the opposition should BE AFRAID!!

More Smeggie news soon.

Chairman's Chirps

2nd September 2017

"First win for Ladies"

Ladies postmatch awards

A promising start from a very young inexperienced Clevedon 1st XV. We were in with a shout for most the game but faded in the last quarter. Encouraging to watch non-the less. Rumour has it that the old stager 'Stoner' is going to start training in earnest and try to break his way into the 1st team. Roll on next week for the visit to Teignmouth. Hopefully, good weather, so Hilly can leave his wellies in the under stairs cupboard. Make sure you don't miss the bus at 1100.

Unfortunately, the 2nd XV could not field a front row last week. Less said the better. Hopefully with a home fixture against Crewkerne and the end of the holiday period we should be able to field a strong team.

The 3rds first fixture is the end of the month, bar takings will improve no doubt.

On the subject of bar profits, the newly formed Ladies XVs joined the Big Cheeses on Sunday in the bar after their first games. They took part in the Festival in Yeovil and came away with a loss and a win in their 2 games. Traditions were upheld with Lady of the Match and the inaugural first try for the team toasting each other. Well done Ladies.

All being well, we will have a good turnout by all teams this week for training.

Remember the old motto of "Failing to prepare is preparing to fail".

Six Nations Tickets

2nd September 2017

"Apply NOW!!!"

Six Nations 2018Fully paid up club members can now apply for tickets for the 2018 Six Nations.

Click or tap the poster to download the form.

Many thanks, Jim McVeigh

The Season Begins

2nd September 2017

"Why not visit The Vale?"

The League season begin today against Okehampton with a 15:00 kick off. The luncheon begins at 14:00 for the Vice President's and their guests.

Time to get forget the glorious summer.

Captain Matt Honour

2nd September 2017

"Matt honoured to become captain"

Captain Matt Honour

Veteran Matt Honour is Clevedon's 1st XV Captain for the coming season. He brings a huge amount of experience to a Clevedon team that are mostly half his age. After nearly retiring a couple of season's ago, he found a new lease of life to continue playing. Maybe it was the invitation to join The No Necks that persuaded him to continue, after all they are a motley bunch of striped jacketed bores.

Good decision Matt!

Annual General Meeting

17th July 2017, 19:30

"Members, please attend this!"

Annual General MeetingPlease note that the Annual General Meeting of Clevedon RFC will take place at the clubhouse on Monday, 17th July 2017 at 20:00.

All paid up members are welcome. Please find the agenda within the document section under the information tab on the home page in general documents.

You'll have to log in as a member to see it.

Many thanks, Neil Tucker
Hon. Secretary

Training begins

6th July 2017

"Come on down"

Training began on Tuesday, 4th July at 19:00 and continues tonight and every Tuesday and Thursday from now on.

Get yourself down there and get super fit before the first game. New players are always welcome and should contain Nick Hill when arriving. See you there!

Summer Opening

11th May 2017

"Open all hours"

  • Monday: Closed
  • Tuesday: 7.00pm - 10.30pm
  • Wednesday: 7.00pm - 10.30pm
  • Thursday: 7.00pm - 10.30pm
  • Friday: 7.00pm - 10.30pm
  • Saturday: 5.00pm - 10.30pm
  • Sunday: 4.00pm - 8.00pm

Please Note: These hours may vary if and when functions take place.

The website archives are currently being researched and assembled. They will be available soonish.