Two can't be bothered to watch, three are watching and praying (Vigilate et Orate) that Clevedon turn it around and another, that looks suspiciously like Head Cheese Smoggydon, is looking at the game with only one eye. Perhaps he's hoping that when he uses both eyes, Clevedon will be winning and he can get to writing his Cheesy News to amuse us all.
Maybe the ladies in the background had a better idea by disappearing into the clubhouse to avoid the scary goings on outside. The equivalent of hiding behind the sofa during the early Doctor Who episodes.
Then again, perhaps not.
"Midsomer Murder Clevedon"
Team: Jordan Mein, Mitchell Jordan, Fakoya Tyrell, Grant Cherrington, Matt Fisher, Adam Coles, Tom Thie, Brian Largenton, Matt Honour, Blaise Bosley, Ben Chase, Oli Jones, Charlie Tucker, Toby Ford, Harvey Russell. Replacements: William Trollope, Ryan Hervey, Jack Crew. Coaches: Nick Hill/Chris Heal. Flag: Neil Tucker.
John Nettles as Detective Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby would've been hard-pressed to solve this one.
For the first few minutes, Clevedon looked good and stretched the home side all over the park by playing it wide and fast, but that was as good as it got.
Early in the first half Clevedon became the victims as the home pack started picking them off one by one and in the end dispatching them 33-10.
Clevedon were seemingly ill-equipped to cope with the carnage that was happening to them and as a result were left bereft and shocked at their demise.
Their were many witnesses to this crime that were able to assist DCI Barnaby, but none were able to put their finger on any one thing.
Was it going to ground too early and getting turned over? or was it the lack of clearing out to get that quick ball? Was it the dropped passes, wrong options or fitness?
Barnaby was confused.
Hopefully, the coaching detectives will have solved this conundrum by next week when Old Bristolians come calling.
Read the report here.
Next Saturday Clevedon are at home to Old Bristolians. The kick off is at 15:00 and is preceded by the usual fun and frolics, commonly known as the Vice Presidents' Luncheon.
Why not start the new season by ordering a club blazer?
You will be joining a select bunch of ne'er-do-wells that have worn them for last four seasons.
This is just a sighter to see how many people would be interested.
They are made to measure and a sizing document will be provided to interested parties.
They also do waistcoats if anyone would like one.
Current Poly/cotton striped blazer details are as follows:
- 6 - 12 blazers £139.00 + vat each
- 13 - 23 blazers £129.00 + vat each
- 24 + blazers £119.00 + vat each
- Waistcoats £69.00 + vat
- Delivery 6 to 7 weeks
If you're interested, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org, alternatively you can grab me in the club if I am around.
Yours Aye, Jim
Not a result we wanted this week.
As I was not in attendance I do not feel qualified to comment on our 33-10 defeat at Midsomer Norton. Needless to say, this will be short, but probably not sweet.
Apparently, a lot can be learned from this defeat. Maybe this is a wake up call for us and we can build from here.
Heads up guys, there is always next week to make amends. Train hard this week and give a good account at the Vale against Old Bristolians.
"If you train hard, you'll not only be hard, you'll be hard to beat".
Yours Aye, Jim
Paid up club members can now apply for the matches below. Tickets for all games except Italy are at present restricted and requests for more than 2 tickets may be reduced to 2 or to zero if the allocation is exhausted.
Tickets are for your use only and cannot be resold. Unwanted tickets can be returned and will be refunded.
- England v France, Sunday 10 February, KO 15:00
- England v Italy, Saturday 9 March, KO 16:45
- England v Scotland, Saturday 16 March, KO 17:00
The application form can be obtained from the bar, alternatively you can obtain the form here.
Please note that the closing date is Thursday, 4 October 2018 and that the Junior tickets for the Italy game are £20.00.
Yours Aye, Jim
Last season there were three part-time contributors under the headings of Chairman's Chirps, Onlooker's View and The Cheesies.
There was an occasional musing from Cobweb Corner, but as last season progressed, they stayed there fearing that relegation was inevitable.
They've stayed cocooned until now. Hopefully, their new found freedom will inspire them to begin their writing again as they will be eager for Clevedon to flourish in their new league.
Information about the Quilter Autumn internationals cab be found on the RFU website here.
The Six Nations 2019 information is here.